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Colbert Returned Last Night After His Hiatus to Get His Butt Lifted

Last night Stephen Colber returned and confessed that what was believed to be a break in order to deal with a family emergency was really just a vacation to get his ass lifted. "The doctor’s cranked this thing so high and tight it can barely blink now,” Colbert suggested before he gave a quick and loving shout out to his 91 year old mother, who is the actual reason he took last week off.

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