Once again it’s time to clear off the dining room table and get ready for another Christmas dinner. Whether you got stuck hosting this year or have to travel hours away to an unknown family member’s house, the Christmas dinner verdict is usually the same. I thought it was only necessary to present you with a drinking game that will help ease the small talk and family awkwardness. Merry Christmas!
One drink each time someone talks about:
- How long it took them to drive there OR any mention of "Holiday traffic"
- Why it snowed after Hurricane Sandy but not on Christmas
- Their job and/or holiday party (drink double if someone got “laid off”)
- The awesome present someone else received
- Exchanging or opening gifts after dinner
- If Aunt Sally asks you to try her homemade Eggnog
Two drinks each time someone mentions:
- How much their child has grown since last year
- Every time a family member asks an infant how old they are or what grade they’re in
- Asks what channel "A Christmas Story" is on
- How many times they have seen "A Christmas Story"
- “Last Christmas”
- “Remember when”
- A general motion to break out old home videos from past Christmas gatherings
- If someone complains that you plan to go to the bar after dinner
- If grandpa tells an overly creepy, sexual, political, racist or politically-racist joke
- If Uncle Bobby asks you where the Jameson is (proceed to take a shot with him)
- If someone chokes on a piece of turkey or whatever main course is
- If a family member asks that everyone plays a dinner game
- If a dinner game starts with, “Let’s go around the table and…”
- If you have to leave the table to take a shit
- If your annoying little cousin goes underneath the table to tie your shoe laces together (feel free to kick him)
Take a shot or chug a beer if:
- There is a planned ‘surprise’ announcement (engagement, baby on the way, cousin comes out of the closet, etc.) OR
- If grandpa says he’s divorcing your grandma
- Either your meal is interrupted my Christmas carolers or someone starts to sing a Christmas song in which the entire table feels obligated to join
- If you’re the last one at the dinner table because you refused to watch "A Christmas Story" with the rest of your family
Chug some Eggnog:
- If you are asked to dress up like Santa for your little cousins after dinner
**As always, proceed with common sense.