Life
by Fitz E Fresh on May 8, 2014

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Submit your Ask a Babe questions below.

Q: So I’m in the military and a friend drops lines about how she loves guys in uniforms. Then she saw a picture I was tagged in on my motorcycle, on my way to work. So the question/questions: Do girls REALLY like guys in uniform that much? Also does riding a motorcycle make a difference?

A: In short, yes to all of the above. I’m not saying I’m actively pursuing it, or probably will ever do it, but getting down on a firefighter’s pole– take that as you will– has always been a fantasy of mine. A lot of women hold similar or comparable fantasies. But again, I think a good deal of it is…hypothetical.

As for the motorcycle, also fuck yeah. But it similarly comes with its limitations. I’d hop on the back of some babe’s Harley for a cruise down Highway 69 most days of the week. But would I want my husband to have one? Hell. Fucking. No. In your situation it sounds like the homegirl in question is picking up everything you’re putting down–so run with it. Take this babe for a spontaneous ride of her life. Whether or not you choose to wear your uniform is up to you–but it definitely couldn’t hurt.

Q: Hey Babe. I’m a 27-year old guy in finance- usually wear my glasses to work, but noticed that when I don’t I get comments/compliments from the chicks in my office. So how do you decide what works best, glasses or no glasses?

A: I like a dude in glasses. It somehow shows an air of confidence on top of some sexy smarts. But at the same time, I’m not really down with
them clonking against my face in the bedroom. Luckily, there’s no pressure to settle on just one–the element of surprise is a powerful
one, and switching it up will keep things fresh; even if just for your own sake.

Moreover, you can’t pin one down as the “right” option; some girls dig the four eyes, others, not so much. In the end I think you should give preference to whichever you feel most comfortable with and go from there. The nice thing about the spontaneous switch up is that the chicks complimenting you either way will continue to dole those out; so do yourself a favor and have a worthy response–or better,
counter-compliment–for the next time it goes down.

Q: So I’ve been dating this girl that I’m really into for several months now. Everything’s been smooth for the most part, that is until the topic of “the number” came up. So it turns out her number is significantly larger then I would have guessed. Am I right to be mad and bothered by this?

A: If she hadn’t offered up that sliver of honesty, what would your guess have been? Two, three partners? Let’s be realistic here.

Of all the double standards that exist, this one really tops the list of shit that bothers me. Sometimes I get the feeling that dudes expect the chicks they hook up with to have been sitting around, waiting for them to arrive, patiently not having sex with anyone else in the interim…Despite not even knowing them one year prior. To that, I say, Bitch pleaz.

As long as you’re maintaining your self respect and monthly sexual health checkups, I say have a field day. Do whatever, and whoever the fuck you want. ..To fuck. And when it comes time to commit to one person even temporarily, resist the urge to get all high and mighty about how many other people may have shared that person in previous years.

Q: My girlfriend is obsessed with this whole “basic bitch” thing which is super annoying. The worst part is that I don’t think she realizes it’s a negative thing. What am I supposed to think here??

A: Well. The only reasonable conclusion I can reach here, is the glaring truth that you are in fact, dating a basic bitch. I know. It’s a reality no Breau wants to face. It’s as if you’ve been living a lie; dating a chick with little or no distinguishable characteristics, presenting her to your friends and family as if she were special. And all the while, allowing yourself to believe these falsely assigned traits as if they held real merit. It’s okay– you’re young, and there’s plenty of non-basic bitches available. Which I’ve come to learn are referred to as “bad bitches.” I dig it. As you’re  probably aware of there is no known cure for basicness, so I’d take that to the bank–and leave your girlfriend on the couch,
reading celeb gossip aloud using only abbrevs.

TTYL.

Submit your Ask a Babe questions below. 

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