We just received this email from a lovely, sexually aggressive chick going to college at a notorious party school out west. The body of her email was far less exciting than the note attached, as all it said was, "This is a note I found on my door from my dick of a neighbor." But what she lacked in explanation, she more than made up for in file-naming because she saved the file as "WHORE_LETTER" before she sent it in. I think the underscore is a nice touch, don't you?

From the neighbor's point-of-view, I can understand why he's kind of annoyed. At first he was probably all jazzed to have a whore of this caliber living next to him, but just as it happens with clips of porn, he's grown tied of hearing the same shit over and over again. I'm not suggesting that you tone down your output, but you need to throw this guy some curve balls; he's sick of watching the same movie. Maybe introduce a few new battle cries into your repertoire or, even better, take the lord's name in vain while you scream out everything as it's happening, "THAT'S RIGHT... OHHHHH JESUS OF SWEET FUCKING NAZARETH, RIGHT THERE...DO IT RIGHT THERE!!! NOW FLIP ME OVER AND MOTORBOAT MY ASSHOLE!!"

You know what I'm saying? Really let this neighbor of yours know what's going on. If anything, his note was a cry for more knowledge, poor guy feels left out.