Two Girls Expose Cheating Wife Sending Sexts While Sitting Next To Her Husband At Atlanta Braves Game

Is this fake? Maybe. I don’t know. You’d think I would know but it’s not like I’m a goddamn encyclopedia or something. I don’t have all the answers and neither do you, so is it really fair to hold me to that high of a standard? Answer: No. And while a similar thing happened a few months ago during a Detroit Lions game, that doesn’t mean lightning can’t strike twice.

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First lesson in “Cheating On Your Spouse 101”: make sure the contact name on your phone is something lame and inconspicuous, like “Nancy” or “Mom.” No one wants to read the lame texts you send your Mom and never in the history of the world has there ever been someone cool named “Nancy.” Sorry Nancies of the world, your parents saddled you with a loser of a name, right up there with “Esther” and “Bertha.” You’re basically putting a “Kick Me” sign on your kid’s back when you stick’em with those names.

Fun unrelated fact: Matt Keohan enjoys long walks on the beach and fellating homeless people underneath the boardwalk when a full moon is out. If a full moon isn’t out, he fellates himself.

Flexible motherfucker, that one.