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8 Challenges Every Bro Faces After a Break-Up

By / 12.26.13

In the coming months, you will try out all sorts of different forms of social media that you never knew existed before when you were getting consistent pussy instead of searching for strange night after night.

Like any situation that requires change, coming off a break up has its positives and negatives.

The good news is that some chick somewhere will fall for the “I’m just coming off a X month/year long relationship” line within the next two to four weeks so you won’t be depressed for too long and, hopefully, you won’t get to the point where you’re asking the age-old question, “If you don’t use it, will you lose it?”

The negatives is that the rebound chick has less than a 1% chance of becoming your next girlfriend so your search will continue on and could grow very old quickly if you’re not patient with the dating process. Also worth mentioning is the fact that as easy as it is to meet new chicks — and trust me, it will be easy — bringing them home to have sex will never seem harder.

Remember, you’re wearing distinct and recognizable cologne that single girls can detect instantly.

The key is not to shy away from it — own the truth. You’re coming off a relationship and that’s not going to change until you’ve perused the market, slept with a couple new chicks, and accepted a few more applications for potential long-term employment (i.e. your next girlfriend).

Once this process is completed, that horrible scent will be fully washed off and replaced with a new, permanent fragrance that you can where around with pride and confidence.

Until then, here are some challenges you will face in the adjustment period:

Getting used to your hand

Every bro should be familiar with his hand and pleasuring himself at this point in his life, but a bro coming off a break up might need to adapt to the lifestyle that all single bros lead — a lifestyle where jacking off becomes as routine and expected as waking up breathing in the morning.

You no longer have a girl to take care of your innate sexual needs and you will need to find a release elsewhere. If it’s a Tuesday night and there’s a high probability that nothing is going on, you won’t have the comfort of staying in, watching Netflix and fucking something familiar. Rather, you will have to stay in, watch Netflix and fuck yourself. On a similar note, if you strike out at the bars over the weekend, you will becoming back to give yourself some much-needed loving.

It’s important to know how to love yourself. This is why breakups at early age are necessary, because they teach us valuable, life-long lessons — relationships suck and the only person you can really ever trust is yourself. Get used to it now, it’ll save you a lot of pain later on.

Being the awkward ‘fresh out of a relationship’ guy

Modern social hierarchy requires someone in the group to fulfill the role of the “available person.” Whether or not that person is coming out of a recent relationship or been single for their entire life, it doesn’t matter. That person is necessary to reaffirm to the couples in the group that relationships are worth it and that being single is isolated, scary and not a whole lot of fun. If you’re in a relationship currently, you probably don’t even recognize that this exists, but trust me it does — even if just sub-consciously.

If you’re a bro coming out of a relationship, then everything is illuminated now and you’re starting to see social circles a lot differently then you did when you were dating your girlfriend. One thing you may or may not have noticed during this revelatory period is that you are in fact that “available person” and you’re friends will relentlessly push this tag on you, on purpose or inadvertently.

Regardless, you will therefore take over the inevitable awkward role until you can raise you batting average to more than .200 and you’re bringing home chicks on a near-constant basis. Until this happens, you’re that guy — so get to work.

Spending money and getting nothing in return

Speaking of work, you may have forgotten what it’s like to put in time with a girl before any action happens. This is the primary reason most guys enter a relationship — cheap and constant sex. While you’ve been lackadaisically pounding your girlfriend, the laws of courting a girl haven’t gone anywhere, sadly.

Yes, you can bring home endless amounts of drunken sluts from a bar, but if you’re looking to reenter the dating field, then the word lazy needs to be removed from your vocabulary. You will need to open yourself up to spending money on chicks and not getting any sexual favors in return. Two or three dates later, that melody might change but it’s really on a case-to-case basis from here. The only constant in your life now is the fact that going on a date doesn’t equate to definite sex.

In fact, the odds are staggeringly against you.

Getting rejected more than you ever have before

While bringing chicks homes from the bar and parties may prove to be easy — at least compared to going on formal dates, your rejection numbers will still be at an all-time high. Why? Your game is rusty (more on this in a bit), you’re probably a bit out of shape (I don’t blame you, not having to worry about pussy makes a man lazy), and, most importantly, you lack the confidence of a man who knows that he’s getting laid tonight (this makes us all a lot weaker, so you’re not alone).

All of these factors will result in an initial struggle. You’ll be like a baby learning how to walk, but instead of stumbling onto your ass a few times before crawling and standing, you’ll be stumbling into pussy you otherwise wouldn’t touch if you weren’t coming off a break-up. This brings us to…

Settling for 5s or less

If you haven’t banged a 5 or less in your life, then fuck you, dude. Joking, of course. But seriously, that’s just not fair. Every bro should experience if not just for the sake of staying humble. Coming off a break up will cause you to do silly, regrettable things and this is one of them.

Before you give yourself too hard of a time when it happens, you should realize that 95% of most men have been in your shoes and have responded the exact same way. I think that’s why ugly chicks exist— to help men who are down on their luck looking to plow their way to a breakthrough. Out of every regrettable choice comes a chance at redemption. All I have to say to you bros is good luck out there.

Also, if you have too much pride and only will sleep with the crème de la crème of vagina, then you’ll be finding yourself….

Walking home alone

Just because you’re too good for 3s and 4s doesn’t mean that reality won’t slap you on the face night after night and make you suffer through the treacherous, and sometimes downright uncomfortable, walk home alone. This will become a familiar after bar practice for you newly single bros, especially those struggling with…

Honing your game

This won’t happen overnight. Your girlfriend dumps you, or you dump her, and you’re not just going to be able to head to the bar the next night and be George Clooney. There will be a phase of working out your introduction and pick up lines. It’s like breaking in a new baseball glove — all it takes is time. You will learn how to read girls — something you never had to do while you were in a relationship — and see how they respond to different approaches. At first, this may actually seem fun but if you keep stockpiling rejection slips, it will become quickly frustrating to the point of desperation.

The key is to never let on that you are annoyed, or struggling, with your sex life. Always maintain an air of confidence and you will find success eventually. If you break down in public, you could be looking at a long winter. Save your complaints to when you’re back home alone or with friends, and no girls are in sight.

Maintaining confidence

Being confident is easier said then done when you’re approaching a month-plus cold streak in getting laid. I’d say this is the most important challenge any bro coming off a relationship will face because it’s the most unpredictable and the most circumstantial.

I don’t know how the single bro next to me will handle a month without sex and I don’t know how the single bro three tables down will handle the same situation times three. Some men have a stronger tolerance for being alone, while some break down and will do anything to settle their sexual urges. Again, it’s an erratic process — one that hardly can be defined by a label. The best advice I can give here, to any bro who is struggling with confidence, is to make sure your taking care of your needs and jacking off. If you let that tension build, things are only going to get worse and your mind will start to over think.

Declining sexual performance

No matter how much love you’re giving yourself during this awkward post-breakup phase, you will notice your sexual performance dip with any girl that’s not your former girlfriend. Why? You haven’t built in a level of familiarity and comfort that happens with relationships. Also, you more than likely won’t be coming off a night of sex and, as a result, you will last shorter than you would if it was a repetitive act. Moreover, you will be a lot more in your head and you will be second-guessing little things you never would with someone you’ve been with previously. Also, she could say or do something that will throw you off entirely because you haven’t adjusted to what she’s like in the sack.

Perhaps most important is the fact you will be super aggressive and that will make you overlook some of the details that always made your girlfriend happy, such as going down on her. If you forget to do this with this new chick — and chances are you will, then she won’t reach the peak of her satisfaction and there may not be a second chance.

And that’s not good, because if you’re a man coming off a relationship, you’re going to need as many second chances as you can get.


TAGSbreaking upDatingLoveRelationshipsSex
Steve Coulter
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