Industry Insider Claims Canadian Strip Clubs Are Disappearing And Nintendo Might Be To Blame

An industry insider is heralding the deaths of Canadian Strip Clubs from coast to coast. Cheetah’s Show Lounge has just shuttered their windows in Kelowna, B.C. leaving only one operational booby bar in the town of over 100,000 residents. The trend is the same on the other side of the country where just a decade ago Toronto was home to 63 strip clubs, and today it only has 14. But why are these houses of pleasure shutting down? One industry thinks Nintendo is to blame, specifically the ‘Game Boys’…wait, what?

Is it actually conceivable that a handheld device first launched in 1989 is the reason strip clubs are disappearing from Canada? Or is it the complete lack of innovation in the adult entertainment world (seriously, step up your game strippers) that’s causing the demise of the industry? I tend to think it’s the latter.

The CBC reports:

Strip clubs, with flashy signs advertising nude dancers, once had a strong footing in downtown centres across Canada.

But as Cheetah’s Show Lounge in Kelowna, B.C. closes its doors, an adult industry insider says strip clubs are an endangered species being killed off by lack of demand.

“The market demand for adult entertainment clubs is a male around a certain age,” Tim Lambrinos, director of the Adult Entertainment Association of Canada, told Daybreak South’s Chris Walker.

“It seems that young Canadian males are more distracted with other types of interests — Game Boys, plugging in things and so on and it’s almost as if the young women are the ones bringing them out to the clubs now.”

Cheetah’s closure leaves only one strip club in the city of more than 100,000 residents. According to the association, that trend is the same in other big cities — Toronto had 63 strip clubs a decade ago, now it only has 14.

Lambrinos admits licensed clubs are plagued with the perception they are tied to crime and unsavoury characters, but claims that doesn’t match with the reality.

“In terms of crime, even public complaints, the licensed adult entertainment clubs were the bottom of the list when it came to public complaints.

As to that last point, Mr. Lambrinos claims there were restaurants and nail salons that received many more public complaints than the strip clubs.

So what gives? Is the Nintendo Game Boy really the harbinger of death for Canadian strip clubs? NOPE. Not a fucking chance in the world. More than likely there’s over a hundred confluencing reasons as to why the strip clubs are forced to shut down. If I had to pinpoint any major factor though it’d be the fact that these strip clubs are often ran by dinosaurs who think that the same schtick that worked three decades ago is going to work today. We’re living in an age of over stimulation, and we need sensory overload anywhere we go. The Canadian strip club industry needs to embrace technology if they have any hopes of lasting. Maybe consider launching an app where bros can order their drinks and lap dances via iPad instead of having some pregnant 40-year-old desperate to give out one more dance come talk our ears off for an hour?

It might also help to get an industry insider who doesn’t immediately jump to ‘Game Boys’ as the reason that businesses are shutting down. If any of you Canadian strip clubs are looking for an adviser on how to juice your business back up I’d be happy to make a trip up myself, or I’m sure any member of the BroBible staff would be pleased to consult with you.

For more on this story head on over to the CBC!