Life
by Victoria McKenzie on July 2, 2013

When searching through countless Craigslist postings in search of a new apartment, I came across a posting titled “Young, Professional Female Roommate Needed for 3BR Apt.” The pictures looked awesome and the girls didn’t sound like psychopaths in their description. One works in marketing in midtown, right where my PR firm is located, and the other is a bartender in Hoboken, aka my new bar wench who will feed me free shots on the weekends. Perfect.

We emailed back and forth for a few days and then decided to set a time for me to come by and see the apartment. I typed Alex’s number into my phone and gave her a call. To my surprise a guy answered. For three days of lengthy email correspondence, Alex failed to inform me that he and his roommate were dudes. Looking for a “young, professional, female roommate?” Yeah. I bet you are, bro.

When I started laughing Alex explained that they had lived with a girl before who was really chill and they both loved it. She just moved out to get a place with her boyfriend and they wanted to find someone to take her place. I turned it down but it honestly intrigued me. Out of curiosity I asked a few friends who lived in a platonic roomie situation with a member of the opposite sex about their experiences. Here’s what they had to say:

Girl that lives with guy 1:
Everything was normal at first. He was really respectful, clean and fun to hangout with. He could never remember to put the toilet seat down but it was whatever. One day I found a box of magnum condoms in our bathroom trash facing up so I couldn’t miss them. We both have our own trash in our bedrooms so I know he put that there for me to see. Then he randomly mentioned how annoying morning wood was and how he wished he had a lady servant to cater to it everyday. I’m moving out September 1st.

Guy that lives with girl 1:
She is a goddess. We all watch games together and she actually knows what’s going on so she doesn’t ask dumb questions. She makes dinner four to five times a week and cleans the apartment without complaint. It’s like having a wife without the commitment. Honestly, I think I love her more than my mom. 

Girl that lives with guy 2:
We were all friends in college and when I was looking to move they invited me to look with them and it just made sense. I get along better with guys anyway. Everything is pretty good except when we get drunk one of my roommates and I hookup. We pretend like nothing happened the next day but eventually that’s going to become an issue. Oh, and our third roommate has no idea.

Guy that lives with girl 2:
She’s insane. She complains about everything. I couldn’t be more miserable than if I moved home with my mother and teenage sisters. It’s a temporary set-up so it’s only short-term but I’m counting the days.

Girl that lives with guy 3:
These guys have been good friends of mine forever and living together has been really fun. I’m crushing hard on one though and he has a girlfriend so before I become a home wrecker I’m going to be moving.

Guy that lives with girl 3:
I moved out of a three bedroom a few months ago and one of my roommates was a chick. Do you know how hard it is to live with a smoke and not get any? I literally had a boner since the day we moved in. You cannot live with a woman you’re not hooking-up with. It does things to you.

Some can handle it, some can’t. Do you have an experience of living with a girl that was just a friend? Tell me about it in the comment section. I may end up reconsidering and give Alex a call.

Xo,
McKenzie

Follow this babe on Twitter @VikkiMoran.

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