Burglar Scared Away By Big Mouth Billy Bass

An attempted robbery at a bait and tackle shop in Minnesota was called off, mid-heist, when the robber was too startled by a Big Mouth Billy Bass to continue the job.

In case you don’t remember, Big Mouth Billy Bass is a stupid fish that hangs on the wall and sings. It’s the second highest form of humor next to rape jokes.

The novelty bass, which had been hung near the door and would start singing “Take Me to the River” whenever someone entered the shop, was found on the floor after the intruder knocked it down as part of breaking the door to get in, according to the Olmsted County Sheriff’s Office.  But the intruder appeared to have left in a hurry, without stealing anything — not tackle nor cash that had been left in “a very visible spot,” Sgt. Tom Claymon said.

He could have shot the bass. It would have been the best solution for everyone involved.

[via Star Tribune]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.