If Loverboy got one thing right, it was their 1986 hit tune "Working for the Weekend." Goddammit is that mantra ever true right now. I am so uninspired to be alive/awake/in pants at this very moment, I can't even begin to explain it. Bros of the Week, coming in hot.
5. Prince Harry
You've got a good head on your shoulders and you were right to stick your on-again-off-again girlfriend in the back of the church this morning. Stay single, my friend. Look how incredible George Clooney's bachelorhood resume is and he doesn't even come with a Prince tag attached. I don't care how good Kate looks now that she's starved herself skinny, your brother is going to tire of that in no time. I didn't watch the wedding -- I couldn't give a dick about any of that, plus I'm a habitual follower of the Golf Channel's Morning Drive program -- but I can tell you one thing: with Will out of commission, Harry's biggest burden each day is figuring out which hot chick he should slay. Might I direct the young ponce (and I do mean ponce) to this robust list of candidates.
I wasn't f*cking kidding. This is my anthem right now. You know what else? This is my column, which I rarely use as a soap box, so Loverboy is getting their due (so long as AG doesn't edit this out entirely). Aside from "Garbage Dump" this may be the best song we've posted on this site in months. Enjoy.
3. Rick Hill & Joe Parker
I'm not going to get all feel-good "isn't this such a f*cking fairytale?" on you. Yes, great for these two gents to finally have found one another, after 38 years, but f*ck their parents who kept them apart. All that lost time when they could have been having a catch, getting bombed together, or doing other brotherly shit... I'd be pissed. Hell, I'm pissed for them.
2. Mark Haines
I wholeheartedly refute Mark's statement that we are in any way a sexist website. School yard lies is what that is. We never make up untruths about women; we firmly stand in the corner of "rape is bad"; we only use the word "c*nt" when called for (granted, it would be a lot less if there were a lot less c*nts); and there is nothing more in this world that we love than a smart broad with smoking hot assets. Everybody knows that. It's the dumb, ugly ones we can't f*cking stand. But thanks for the shout out. It's too bad the next fella is an American hero otherwise you'd have finally cracked the top spot.
1. Rick Monday
One commenter on our original post -- about Monday saving the American Flag -- really found a way to channel the sentiments of all other comments with this: "Rick Monday is a motherf*cking hero, he or someone should have beat the shit out of those douches who tried to burn the flag. America!" Ah yes, America indeed.