I'll say it again, what the f*ck is up with my boy Sly (I shot him a tweet once, which makes us blood brothers) getting voted into the Boxing Hall of Fame the other day? Don't get me wrong, I could give far less than one morsel of a shit that this actually took place, but I always believed HOFs should be reserved for those who actually spent their lives bleeding greatness for the sport they loved. That said, he probably has the most famous boxing statue ever erected and, if all he had to do to get into the Hall was inspire people to box or watch boxing, then I guess he earned it, right? Rumor has it that his Purple Heart for "Rambo" is in the mail too.
Since there seems to be a blur between actual achievements in sport and playing dress up, we wondered if something like this has ever happened before. We searched for minutes and I assure you it has not. But now that Rocky has done it, we feel like other great characters might feel snubbed. Perhaps they too could arguably be Hall of Fame bound as well. And maybe none of these people have Stallone's gaudy statues, or action figures, or even partially paralyzed face as part of their credentials, but who the f*ck does?
We chose 20 mostly fictional characters (sorry Rudy) from movies in each major sport (along with a few from other sports) and gave a short reason behind why we would nominate them. Oh, and just like the boxing sports writers who voted Stallone into their hall of fame, we removed all logic and reason when we made our choices. Hats off to all the nominees for whatever young boy or girl they may have inspired.
Nick Nolte (Pete Bell) for getting his act together and finally paying his athletes in "Blue Chips."
Forest Whitiker (Mr. Rucker) for his role as a do-good janitor in "Rebound: The Legend of Earl 'The Goat' Manigault."
Lil Bow Wow for his serious lack of Jordanesque skillz (with a "z") in "Like Mike."
Craig Scheffer (Joe Kane) for no other reason than being awesome in "The Program."
Ed the Monkey for accurately portraying life as a major league pitcher in "Ed" and for out-acting Matthew LeBlanc.
Shawna Waldron (Becky "IceBox" O'Shea) for being a frigid b*tch who crossed gender lines in "Little Giants."
Billy Blanks (Billy Cole) for literally killing people on his way to the end zone and then celebrating his touchdown by blowing his own brains out in "The Last Boy Scout."
Sylvester Stallone (Lincoln Hawk) for rippin' arms off in "Over the Top." (Two-sport athlete, b*tches.)
Gary Cole (Reese Bobby) for not only his rampant alcohol abuse but also for teaching children the importance of first place in "Talladega Nights."
Mike Vitar (Benny Rodriguez) for his breakaway speed and lack of violence towards the neighborhood dork in "The Sandlot."
Carl Weathers (Apollo Creed) for dying in the f*cking ring in "Rocky 4." A real p*ssy move on his part but you gotta love that dedication.