This is our second to last Bro of the Week for the year. We'll do one more next Friday and then we'll probably do a top Bros of the Year the week after Christmas. Now when I say "we'll do them" I mean that I alone will do them. No need to credit the other assbags working here. But next Friday will be our last crop of fresh candidates eligible to get themselves on the year-end list. Anyway, I probably should apologize for that assbags comment, since this time-change bullsh*t went down I've been having violent mood swings. And my BM's have been no pleasure cruise either.
5. Josh Lucero
To immediately clear up any confusion, this is not Josh's thigh. This is the leg of Josh's friend, the poor f*ck that lost a bet to Josh and had to get a Tim Tebow Centaur tattooed on his body. This is a horrid-looking tattoo, no question about it, but personally I would have gone more extreme. I think the loser should have been inked with a photo of Sandusky penetrating Bernie Fine's mouth while the two stand atop a rainbow. Why the mouth? Because at the time, Bernie's a**hole is busy taking a catastrophic shit. Then, at opposite ends of the bottom of the rainbow you have Joe Paterno and Jim Boeheim standing with their backs turned, arms folded, and glasses fogged-up. Now that would have been a tattoo for the ages.
4. Albert Pujois
There's nothing not Bro about getting paid $250 million to play a sport. (Enter "Too bad baseball's not a sport" joke here). I still stand by my previous statement that Pujois really missed a good PR opportunity by not hosting a three-hour decision special, especially after what LeBron's did to his hairline.
3. Tiger Woods
I know the Chevron is a small field and it's a meaningless win during golf's silly season, but it's still a goddamn win. And it's good to see Tiger playing well. Even if you hate him, he's good for the game and he's still the face of golf. I think every golfer and fan is excited for him to be back at the top of his game and I probably speak for most when I say that I don't care how many white women he has to f*ck to get there.
2. Officer Deriek Crouse
Officer Crouse was killed yesterday during the shooting on Virginia Tech's campus. His death was an unnecessary one, to say the very least, but Crouse's unfortunate passing impacts more than just Hokie Nation — he also leaves behind his wife and their five kids. And right before Christmas, no less. To help them out in their time of need, someone set up Hokies for Crouse, and at the time of publication it's already raised over $18,000 for them. Donate what you can.
1. Steve Hurd
Every so often we get an email from a reader that even I can't ignore. This is one of those times.
A good friend of mine's dad recently passed away. He was a longtime hockey coach and acted as a father for many of the kids who didn't have their own or even those who just looked up to him. He had been fighting cancer for a long time that had left him frail and extremely unhealthy. Against all the odds he had constantly pushed back his "expiration date." He was supposed to die last month "for sure." But he fought through it to see his son play in the state championship hockey game for Middleton, Wisconsin, his senior year and even his son play to the semifinals of the State Lacrosse tournament. Steve Hurd was loved by every kid he met. He had that certain something that made everyone instantly love the man. He had an unforgettable smirk that never left his face, good times or bad and always had a good punch to the shoulder to mess with you even if he couldn't lift himself off the couch. Steve has fought his cancer for years now and unfortunately suffered a stroke Wednesday morning, the 7th of December. Steve struggled to hold on as teens poured in to see him. Men that would never show an emotion came in with tears streaming down their faces. Unfortunately Steve didn't last more than one more day. He passed away peacefully at 6:45 the 8th of December. Steve Hurd deserves to be a Bro of the Week for everything he has done for his community as well as every Bro he meets. Steve was a great man and will never be forgotten and will always be loved.