Life
by Brandon Cohen on July 16, 2014

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Back in February, Vice ran a story about Dan Janssen, a man whose diet consists almost exclusively of cheese pizza (with a bowl of cereal here and there). What made the story noteworthy is that Dan isn’t a college student or a homeless guy who hangs out in front of the $1 slice spot. After the internet basically exploded with curiosity about this strange creature, they decided to do a follow-up mini-documentary about Dan’s life.

As if the fact that Dan subsists solely on pizza isn’t staggering enough, he detests toppings. I think that I could live off of pizza, but cheese pizza? I’m not an animal. Dan chokes down a pizza with toppings in the doc with absolute disgust, before returning to his bread and butter – bread and cheese and tomato sauce.

Dan is in fairly good health, except for the whole diabetes thing, but he’s basically like, “whatever, I’m cool with sticking needles in my leg every day if it means more pizza.” To his detractors who claim that his health will eventually fail him if he keeps up this lifestyle, he simply says, ”Yeah, well, we’re all gone die. I’m gonna die with pizza in my stomach; it’s gonna be good.” Wow. Boss.

Check out the doc for yourself and watch him visit the old Dominos where he worked, argue with his girlfriend about his health, and return to his favorite Baltimore-area pizza restaurant for the first time in months after a big falling out with the owners. You will learn that this man seems to enjoy pizza. 

Brandon Cohen

About Brandon Cohen...

Brandon Cohen was raised by Jew gypsies on the sleepy island of Manhattan, and went on to defy the odds by graduating from a four-year accredited university in Nashville, TN. He's a writer and aspiring street fight videographer. Back in 2008, Brandon talked to Amanda Bynes at a club in LA for over fifteen minutes.