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Bro Has Sex After Taking Shrooms

By / 05.13.13

It was spring semester of freshman year and quite frankly, I wasn't giving a shit about anything. My classwork was incredibly easy and my classes weren't until later in the day so I spent every night, and I mean every night, getting absolutely shitfaced. One Thursday night there was a pregame a couple floors up and I thought I'd stop by to say hello to some friends I hadn't seen in a while.

When I get there, I meet this random ass kid from a school in DC who wasted no time summoning a bag of shrooms from his pocket.

“Dude, look what I got! Wanna do some?” I had done them once before and had no intention of getting up for discussion the following morning so I bought a few.

The thing was, these shrooms looked weird. They were white and furry in appearance. I was almost worried to take them, but I did anyways. After a little more drinking and an hour or two, I still didn't feel anything. Just drunk…no distorted vision, no side effects.

I thought I had wasted my money, so gave up on the idea of a psychedelic trip and proceeded to call this girl I had been hooking up with lately. One thing led to another as it often did, and we were doing it. Everything's going well…until it hits me. I start feeling delirious and everything is kind of fuzzy. I start imagining the girl whispering things to me. I say “What?” and she replies “Nothing…nothing.” This continues to happen. I hear her whispering things and it's almost as if I don't even believe it's happening myself, I'm a combination of extremely tired and extremely hammered. It's a little scary, her voice is distorted and sounds evil. I wind up rolling over and falling asleep.

Around 4AM I awaken laying on my back. My eyes slowly open and focus on the ceiling directly above me. I had one of those bumpy ceilings with all the small specks, and at that moment in time, they appeared to be moving. Like tiny little ants, they darted back and forth and in between each other. Some forming clumps and making patterns. I thought shit…I guess they worked.


I wound up wandering around College Park smoking a pack of cigarettes to myself and just thinking about life. It was an amazing trip (except for the satanic delusions I had with that girl) and as dawn approached, I fell asleep on my couch.

I vaguely remember waking up as she left in the morning, staring at me on the couch. Asking why I left to sleep out in the main room. I didn't respond, and I haven't hooked up with her since.

At least he didn't think he pulled his cock off

That's it for today. Only one. Need more, better submissions, Bros. Submit your Hook Up Heroes stories here

TAGShooking upSexShrooms
J. Camm
About J. Camm... J. Camm is the Managing Editor of BroBible. He is a graduate of the University of Miami thanks mostly in part to a world-class short-term memory. When not writing drivel on the Internet, J.Camm enjoys golf and the inexplicable satisfaction that comes with forgetting a person's name the exact instant he meets them.

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