Life
by David Covucci on February 24, 2014

dc-bros

Remember these Bros? Of course you do. How could you forget guys who want to chug Evan Williams at an all-day EDM festival with strangers they met on Craigslist?

Well, one of their friends, whom the guys were mocking in the ad, felt he needed to respond. He emailed us this morning and here’s what he had to say:

I’m the beer-brewing, book-reading, OnDemand-watching anti-bro who just couldn’t quite cut it for the Craigslist frat bros.

I can sadly say without a doubt that the pathetic ad you showed on your site is 100% real. Coming from someone who’s now trimmed fat and, much to his recent surprise, the main target of the opening paragraphs, they meant every hilariously immature word of it (that’s what I get for drinking Buffalo Trace instead of Evan Williams).

To fill you in, this ad is coming from two bros who adhere to the four W’s in life: WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment, for those of you who aren’t true bros), Weightlifting (for saving those oxygen-deprived pythons, wherever they may be), Wasted (those Jager bombs aren’t gonna drink themselves), and Women (only the most naive and insecure need apply).

Needless to say, the usual way of making friends, i.e. talking to people in a fun, outgoing manner just doesn’t cut it for them. Narcissism is in, modesty is out if you want to join their 3 man crew, which I think, even after this weekend, is still stuck at 3.

But I’d like to make it clear that all of DC doesn’t adhere to these bros’ rules. Nights spent around a bonfire with friends, chilling at a bar and avoiding the clubs, and wearing sleeves is a great weekend in itself. It just sucks that I actually have to make this defense of DC in the first place. Thanks a lot, bros.

On a final note, my friends and I just finished a new brew. We’re planning on calling it the Trust Us, We’re Not Professionals IPA.

Sincerely,

The Anti-Bro

#burn

David Covucci

About David Covucci...

David Covucci is writerer-bloggerer for BroBible dot com. He loves Twitter and whiskey. He can be reached at david.covucci@brobible.com.