It’s the summer after my freshman year of college and my buddy is graduating high school(we'll call him Krusty). He tells me to come down to his house so we can go to the grad parties together. I see an opportunity to get drunk off someone else’s dollar and hopefully slay some pussy while I’m there.
So I get to his place, we drink a little and decide to walk down to road to the closest party. We get there and the girl he just got dumped by (lets call her Stephanie) is there. He's clearly not happy to see her and wants to bounce but I convince him that I’ll run interference on her if she tries to start sh*t. He obliges so we stay.
After dominating the pong table for a while I decide I need to find a place to put my dick. So I'm scoping out the party and I’m really not feeling anybody so I check my phone to see if I can get my old girlfriend to come down and f*ck. Well, when I pull my phone out I notice I have a few texts, ones from my mom, clearly not what I wanted and I have 2 texts from my buddy's ex Stephanie. And the first text says “hey there” while the second one says “wanna go upstairs?”
(Little back story here, Steph and I used to talk before her and Krusty started dating. While we were talking I was also talking to another girl who I eventually dated. Krusty told me he had a thing for Steph so I stopped talking to her.)
At this point, I didn’t even know what to make of that so I ignored it and just text my old flame to come down and f*ck. Apparently she's down the shore with some friends and can't make it. I then decided if I’m not gonna get laid here we should go to another party. So I grab Krusts, and we steal some bikes out of the garage grabbed a few road sodas and were on our way.
As we're going down he's just babbling on about his ex and I don’t want to mention the text because I know he'll lose his sh*t. Anyway we arrive to the other party and we're there for about an hour and I’m talking to this girl who is probably a solid 5 at best and I’m about ready to take her upstairs and make some poor decisions when Stephanie walks through the door. I immediately try to lock on where Krusts ran off too. I see him just staring at her so I ditch the fiver and swiftly stumble over to where he’s at.
I get there and he looks at me and just says f*ck her I’m going to f*ck someone here, I point him at ole fiver who seemed pretty cock deprived and he went at her. I decide to play some pong but now my partner is busy so I grab my buddy Squeaks and we’re killing the competition, when Stephanie hops on the table. At this point I’ve already told squeaks what she text me and sh*t so he knows what’s going on. She’s talking mad sh*t, calling me a pussy and what not. At this point I’m pretty sh*t faced. And it starts to get pretty patchy here out. But from what Squeaks told me he said I was getting fed up with the sh*t so I just pulled out my dick and shook it at her from across the table. At which point she came over grabbed my dick and pulled me to the corner of the yard as I’m yelling, “do you like that?”
Apparently I fell over and was just leaning on the fence for support when she started blowing me. Squeaks ran over stopped her and told us to go inside. He said he helped me up the stairs and dumped me in one of the bedrooms. As he was walking down the stairs Steph was coming up. He told her I was throwing up and to leave me alone but she insisted that she go and see so he just let her. Now this is where my memory comes back into play.
She came into the room me lying in the bed naked. I don’t even know where I am or what is going on so she jumped into the bed and started blowing me. I specifically remember thinking this is the worst blowjob I have ever received in my entire life. She kept licking it and made no effort to put more than just the tip in her mouth but I digress.
So I take her clothes off and she asks me if I have a condom, I patted my thighs as if they were pockets and said, “nope can’t find any” so she said “it’s okay you can f*ck me in the ass.” It was as if I had just became sober, I don’t know what happened. I had never had anal sex before and well I always wanted to try it. Maybe my adrenaline kicked in and flushed out the alcohol somehow but I was ready to go. So she slobbers all over my dick and then lays on her back and tell me to f*ck her.
So I’m going to town and I’m having the time of my life. It was like Christmas morning but with less presents and kind of dirty but you get the idea.
Anyway I bend her over and I am really giving her a pounding and she is loving it, I’m spanking her ass and just going to work on this bitch when she yells, “yeah f*ck tight ass” To which I responded with laughter I couldn’t believe I heard those words outside of a porno. It was too funny. I think she tried to turn around to yell at me but I just grabbed her hips and kept going.
So I felt myself ready to cum and I didn’t know where to go, this was new to me so I just finished up inside her. She asked why I stopped, I said I was done. So he put her clothes on and left. As soon as she left the guilt kicked in. In all my excitement over anal I had forgotten who I just f*cked. I didn’t know what to do so I hid upstairs till the next day. And when I woke up, I went downstairs and found Krusty lying on the floor with some cute girl, that he apparently f*cked. I guess he ditched the fiver also. Solid upgrade if you ask me. Anyway I got squeaks and asked him for a ride home. He dropped us off but said he wanted to ask me something so we talked I told him what happened. He was in shock, I told him not to say anything and he hasn’t since. Stephanie never told anyone and her and Krusty are dating again now. How nobody found out what happened that night is amazing to me. And I’m glad, but what’s kind of amusing to me is how Stephanie always calls me a piece of sh*t and tells me she hates me.
This next one takes getting a girl’s digits to a very literal level. And by that I mean someone got his asshole fingered. Don't want any confusion.
So it's the first weekend back to school, no one has to be back til Sunday, but it's become tradition to come up on the Saturday and party before the school year really gets started. It's a normal night for all of us, go to the usual BYOB place, which has really turned into house of debauchery for us, and start pounding the beers and being rowdy.
Eventually, it gets to the point where everyone is ready to go downtown and hit up the bars, so everyone is calling cabs, cramming 5 to a back seat, and doing whatever it takes to avoid the 20 minute walk to the bars. We go to our summer spot which is half outdoors and half inside where we go ham on the dance floor and everyone is dancing with everyone.
This leads me to where my roommate begins to do the unthinkable. There is a certain girl at our school, which is pretty small about 1000 kids, and she has hooked up with everyone. I probably have close to 20 brothers wandering around here. And she is out, going up to everyone at the bar hitting on them hard and doing whatever it takes to find some one to take her back.
I first she her hitting on my one friend asking him “what are you doing later?”
He says “Probably sleeping,” and she responds “You sure?”
Without hesitating he goes “Yup, pretty sure.”
Without missing a beat, she walks away and comes to me. I get a hand grabbing my balls and a straight question “You wanna take me back tonight?” with a lick on the face.
I just start to walk away when I motion by roommate over to come put in a little work.
They start to hit it off on the dance floor and eventually he takes her back to our room, and I still have no idea how they got here cause neither of them should have made the 20 minute walk thru the ghetto parts of town. I come back 30 minutes later when they are going at it and just climb into bed. But before I can fall asleep I hear my roommate yelp and let out a scream. Yeah, this girl just jabbed, not slipped, her finger into his ass. And my roommate doesn't even stop her, just keeps going at it. She tries to make him smell it, waving her finger under his nose and in his face, before proceeding to wipe it on his mattress. As I laugh hysterically, the room begins to smell like fart, and eventually they finish as my other friend comes barging in to dick around.
She's just laying there on his bed naked, without the common courtesy to wash her hands or at least put some hand sanitizer on them.
We all pass out to wake up in the morning to just my roommate and I wondering where she went and why it smells in our room. So this girl now has the nickname “stink finger” and everyone waves one finger at her when she walks by and my new brother is called “brown hole.”
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