Life
by David Covucci on February 21, 2014

hook-up-hero-pic

You know what you should do right now? Send in a Hook-Up Heroes story for me to read, then publish on the internet. On to the stories.

First off I’d like to say I’m generally a nice guy, I respect relationships and in most cases stay away from girls that have boyfriends; this story is not one of those cases.

Anyone wonder where this one is going?

Lets start from the beginning. After a night of partying I generally go out to lunch at one of my favorite sororities, because they have good food, and always serve quesadillas on Fridays. I sit down to eat with my friend, and get introduced to a girl, let’s call her Stephanie, and her boyfriend. She was hot, big rack, blonde, but I stuck to my morals and didn’t try to hit on her. After I ate, I said goodbye and left.

Here’s where it gets interesting. A couple of months later she comes to my fraternity for a party, with this same friend, and starts hitting on me. She keeps taking me to the bar to take shots, and I figure “sweet she must have dumped her boyfriend.” I look at her and say, “If I didn’t know better I would think you were trying to get me drunk.” She looked at me, gave me this dirty grin and told me that she was.

I see this as my opening and take her up to my room to uh.. see my fish tank. As we are upstairs, looking for her friend, she pins me to the wall, face in front of mine. looking to make something happen. She suggests we find her friend, and I, the smooth man that I am, looked at my room and said, “my room’s right there.” She hops on top of me, and we start getting wet and wild. Right when I took off her pants, she looks at me and says, ” There’s one problem.” I was thinking, “fuck, she must be on her period.” She tells me she has a boyfriend, this same guy I met two months back and had lunch with. I normally would be a good man and not indulge, but I was hammered, and the condom was already on.

We went at it for a solid 20 minutes … or like 5, I don’t really remember, and after we finished she told me not to tell anyone. I, of course, agreed to this. I then went downstairs back to the party, and a pledge later told me her boyfriend picked her up from the house. The funny thing is, he walked there from his fraternity a block away.

Apparently they are still together, good for them. I’m sure farma will eventually come around and make me pay for it, but her triple D’s, and her boyfriend being in my rival fraternity, makes it all worth it.

Yes, that is the ultimate PRANK. How about more fraternity stories? Yes, let’s

My fraternity had its end of the year semi-formal this fall. We all dressed up and took our dates to the bar we rented. I was with my date the entire time and we were all over each other, so my interaction with everyone else was limited.

Fast forward to midnight, our time was up and most people either stayed at that bar or went to a new one. I took my date home…

Fast forward to 2 a.m. She is asleep naked in my room and I was just passing out. My best friend is a sophomore and still lives on campus, but has a key to my room in the frat house should he need something. He knocked on my door and I ignored him because my date was asleep and I wanted to pass out. He opens the door with his key, and barges in with some girl. I run out after him, angry,  in my boxers into the living room.

He then goes dude “I’m about to fuck this girl. I need you to help me make a makeshift bedroom.” This kid pushed two couches together in a little alcove where we had a huge, custom, 55-cup beer pong table. I nailed up a tapestry so they would have complete closure and he fucked her in the fucking living room. Her friend stayed and kinda just made herself scarce in another room.

That is a tale of fraternity brothers looking out for each other. Okay, ready for one that involves a guy cheating on his girlfriend by jumping into a double-team while she was in another room? What’s that? Yes? But let’s have some fun with it.

Okay.

Okay.

So my buddy bought this amazing house, where we usually would throw down and have decent-sized parties with close friends. It was out in the country so the ratios were rather scary. But regardless, I’m driving my buddy’s sister to the party.

I had feeling she wanted me by the way she was always trying to get me to hang out with her. I played it off for quite a while, as I really wasn’t that interested and it was one of my old buddy’s sister. But long story short, I got a little desperate, as I hadn’t gotten laid in awhile. So I tell myself, it’s game time. On the ride there, I test the waters. I simply pull out the hog.

Note: This is not how you test the waters.

She gets kind of flustered, but keeps looking at it. I tell her she can touch it, but she says “I don’t want you to walk in there with a boner.” I tell her its fine and she gives it a rub down for a bit. We settle and go into the party. I tell my other friend, who is buddy’s with the sister’s brother as well, that I am going to commit the deed. He wants in. I’m thinking I don’t really wanna share but “Hey, it’s my bro.”

Note: This is not how friendship works

I make my way downstairs with this board [sic: I think he meant broad] (everyone’s upstairs and outside at the fire) and proceed to lay her down on the couch and go down on her. I notice my buddy creeping down the staircase. He proceeds to pull his shit out and warm him self up around the corner (pretty odd)

You watching him jack off while you go down on a girl? Yes, pretty odd, indeed

and all of a sudden his ex-girlfriend comes down!! He hides behind the bar. She sees us, says some weird stuff to us and we proceed to get back to it. At this point, I get up and put my wang in her mouth. My buddy creeps up and starts eating her out. right away she notices.

I’m surprised you point this out. Have you had times where girls have not noticed a strange person eating them out while they were engaged in a sex act with a different person?

but she doesn’t protest.

YAY!

She’s in for the deed. She realizes who it is, says his name and he says “I’m gonna eat your pussy so good.” And bam, his ex comes down the stairs again (probably looking for him). He hits the deck again, she leaves.

This reads like a piss-poor comedy script.

He decides it’s a bit risky and makes an appearance outside. I figure its time to get this train moving. I ask her if she’s on the pill, she tells me she is. I roger her like a jackhammer on couch.

What the fuck does that mean?

We go upstairs and act like all is normal. The next day I get a text. You didn’t cum in me did you? I respond, uhh ya I did, you said you were on the pill. Bam, we’re both shitting bricks. She takes the plan B pill, and still doesn’t get her period for awhile. We plan to get an abortion, but thank Jesus I get another text one day, “you’re gonna be so happy I have good news, I got my period!!”

Cool story, bro.

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[Two men, one women via Shutterstock]

David Covucci

About David Covucci...

David Covucci is writerer-bloggerer for BroBible dot com. He loves Twitter and whiskey. He can be reached at david.covucci@brobible.com.