Four Loko. Those two words stir up fond memories of lack of memories. Lately Loko has been all the noise and rage: Chicks across college campuses cracking up cans and spreading legs in the name of caffeine-fueled drunkenness. In case you were born yesterday, Four Loko is liquid speed in a can sprinkled in with some Colt 45. It's like 2Pac and Red Bull had some illegitimate children. Basically, yes, heaven was born in a can and wrapped in random camo colors for the world to share… for just $2.50.
Unfortunatel,y Four Loko has received a bad rap over the past few months, including Harvard, among other schools, suggesting students not drink it. Good luck with that. They're worried all these smart dudes are just going to be ripping cans and writing formulas on white boards for the janitors to solve and shit. Now, courtesy of COED Magazine, comes this national treasure of a video. Polo hats and mad Four Loko hitting the ground in memory of all the homies who died crushing cans. Remember Ashley, our Penn State "Girl to Bring Home to Mom" and her Four Loko costume? Well she was one of a few who actually hand crafted that game outfit. So think of this video as a celebration of her smokiness.
Highlights from the video:
- 1:08 mark: Kid straight curb stomps a Four Loko can
- 1:13 mark: Look at the dude next to the "lead singer" in that rainbow polo shirt zipped up to the top. Like he's in sixth grade getting ready for the big dance.
- 1:19 mark: "Go and get an ID" That brings back memories of Delaware fake IDs bought at bong shops in NYC. Is that still the state to get? Does Jorge still take you into a shady backroom and jack up the price of the ID? Jorge saw me back in with a polo shirt and suddenly there was a preppy inflation rate in the fake ID business.
- 1:46 mark: Towel under the hat, I f*cking dig that look. I may start rolling to BroBible meetings like that, just harlem shaking like Michael J. Fox is making the dance popular.
2:25 mark: "This shit ain't new, been doing it for some years." What the hell, why didn't these dudes hit the big contact buzz button back in the day? I feel like I've only been hanging out with Four Loko and the camo crush for a year at most. Before that was Joose, which just isn't as good. Joose you get if its the only one available, it's that girl you only text at 3 a.m. with the text "whats up?"