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Bro With Bottle Stuck Up Butt Has ‘No Idea’ How It Got There

By / 01.11.14

As is standard protocol in cases of objects up the bung, the fella claims to have “no idea” how the bottle found its way up his anus. The injury was compounded because, instead of immediately going to the emergency room, butthole MacGyver attempted to remove the bottle with a curved wire. Medical staff removed the bottle, collected the $.5 deposit on it, and sewed close the perforation in his anus from the wire.

The doc who performed the operation commented to HuffPo that he “once saw a guy with a French's mustard bottle in his colon.”

(Author walks to office fridge. Grabs bottle of French’s mustard. Tosses it in trash.)

[Gawker via Newsbreaker]

Follow Chris Illuminati on Twitter. He has two pet monkeys.


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About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.

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