Life
by Stevie Chay Vaughan on December 30, 2012

Via Uproxx

Franziska Hansen is a German woman with large breasts. Like, 38DD large. Tim Schmidt is a German lawyer Franziska dated. He is also a man obviously not capable of handling a woman of ample proportions, as he had her charged recently with “attempted murder with a weapon” — the in question weapon being her mountainous mams. Yes, Schmidt claims Hansen tried to smother him to death with her prodigious palookas.

A weapon indeed. But just how potent was Ms. Hansen's arsenal? 

“The incident happened in May – we were having sex…She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts. Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed between her breasts with all of her force…I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.”

In light of this, us Bros of the world must ask ourselves, what is really the best way to kick the bucket? Death via motorboating, or by means of Raaaaaandy's near-death hot tub experience? 

[H/T: Uproxx]

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