Editor's Note: Follow Waffles on Twitter, become his friend on Facebook, or email him at firstname.lastname@example.org. A little over a month ago, one of the Ninjas (that's what they call themselves) over at online pants retailer Bonobos asked me if I wanted a free pair of their new wool pants to try out and then review on the site. I said to him, “Look, Rico, I've heard good things but I normally don't buy pants online. I have the thighs of an Olympic speed-skater and this whole review process might end badly for you.” He persisted by saying, “These pants are cut differently; our founders made them to fit athletic men. You have to try them. Plus, if you like them we'll offer your readers something.” Being a scoundrel who is always looking for free shit and hook-ups for all of you (not to mention pants that fit my creamy thighs), I obliged him. The next day I emailed my new Ninja friend my measurements, told him the style I wanted and three days later a box filled with Bonobos goodness arrived in the mail (shipping is always free). When I got to my apartment, I opened the box. The pants looked great. Hell, they even felt great. But would they fit great?
First, a bit of background on Bonobos. Bonobos makes pants. Pants for men. Pants for men who are built like men but still strive to look good and experience sensational comfort all at the same time. Unlike the competition, Bonobos pants are not just made for famished runway models. You know the ones: they live off of the nutrients they receive from swallowing their own saliva and the occasional morsel of lettuce. The folks over at Bonobos pride themselves on having well-constructed trousers that are built to fit almost every man. From shrimpy dweebs with stick-figure legs to manly men who have exoskeletons smothered in muscle and wrists that don't know what limp is.
Bonobos — a company started by two former Stanford Business School bros — basically wants to have your bottom half covered. And come to think of it, they are currently selling additional products (shoes, polos, belts, etc.) and brands through Bonobos Stuff. So they can cover your n*pples and toes as well. So how'd the pants fit? It turns out, they fit great, and I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I look deadly sexual in them. But that is a given. This exceptional fit came as a huge surprise because, as I stated previously, it is tough to for men with athletic legs and svelte waists to find pants that fit so well — let alone on a website. But after trying these slacks, my perpetual search may be over. I wouldn't be doing my job if all I did was gush about these pants, so I must mention that most of Bonobos pants require tailoring as they all have either a 34 or 36 inseam, depending on your waist size. This, of course, means a few more bucks out of your pocket. On their website, Bonobos notes their cognizance to this need for tailoring by saying, “We know that hemming is an extra step, but it is one that we believe is important for pants that break perfectly over your shoes.” Look at it this way; although you have to pay to get most pairs hemmed, at least the shipping is free.
Since I wound up being such a fan of these thread, Bonobos wants to offer BroBible readers — who have yet to try their pants — a 15% discount on any item over $85 in their online store for the next 48 hours. Bonobos informed us that they normally don't pull acts of kindness like this, so please click on this delicious blue lettering to get you to their site and enter the promotional code “BROBIBLE” to get your discount.