by A. Gram on May 25, 2012

There are far too many guys out there that complain about how chicks have friend zoned them and how the girls they like keep on dating douchebags. These (supposed) men continually moan and groan about how they're nice guys and it's totally unfair that these girls don't like them. They bitch about how they treat these girls well and yet they don't get anything in return. The idea that a woman can like someone other than them baffles these twits. They operate under the premise that how kind you are to a girl is directly proportional to how much she will give you, whether you're looking for a relationship, or just a one-night stand.

Now, I would never claim to be a genuinely nice guy, but I am honest, often to a fault. And as an honest to God asshole, I have a bone to pick with you alleged “nice guys”. You're not a good guy if you're only treating a girl well to get something from her. That doesn't make you nice; it makes you a user. Strike one.

Additionally, not only are you attempting to use these chicks (and failing miserably, thus the whining), but you're lying about it! If you're going to have the balls to try to buy or win some girl's affections, at least be up front about it. Women are smart, but they're not mind-readers (unless you've done something wrong, in which case their “guesses” are always scarily accurate). If you like a girl and continually treat her well, but don't show any signs of being interested, she's not going to magically know that you like her. It's no wonder she's not dating you, you never even asked her out! You complain about women having bad taste, but in reality you're just a coward who didn't have the balls to make a move and can't come to terms with the truth. Strike two.

And finally, if and when you inevitably fail at landing these women, you bitch and moan about it. You attempt to use a girl, effectively lie to her, and possibly yourself, and then complain because she didn't like the spineless pushover that you presented yourself as. You complain about the guy she chose “over” you, which is bullsh*t because you never even presented yourself as an option. You blame her for a decision made yourself when you decided not to come out and tell her how you felt. Strike three, you're out.

Now, I'm sure that many of you dudes out there are getting pretty defensive and probably accusing me of being some traitor to Bro-kind, but that's far from the truth. I'm revealing these ugly truths to y'all so that you can see the error of your ways and mend them. That's right, there's no need to worry just yet; there's still hope! There's still time for you to clean up your act and have a shot at landing a quality babe. The first thing you need to do, to be blunt, is man up. If you can do this, you're ninety percent of the way there.

“Manning up” calls for a general attitude overhaul. If you swing and miss with a girl, don't complain about it. Learn from your mistakes, go out, and hit on someone else. If you like a girl, just tell her. And if you really can't bring yourself to do that, at least flirt with her so she has some idea of your feelings. If you meet a pretty lady whom you'd like to date, don't shoot yourself in the foot by trying to be her friend. Sure, it'll get her to like you, but not in the way you want. Be a straight shooter right out of the gate and make it clear that you want to be more than just her friend.

And the most important thing to remember: be yourself. I'm not saying you should “love who you are” or any crap like that; I'm simply saying that you should stick to what you know and what you're comfortable with. Girls have the uncanny ability to pick up when we're putting on airs, and the minute they realize that you're not the real deal, everything starts going downhill. So stick to your strengths, and just be you.

From my own experiences, I can tell you that it's not always about substance. Sometimes girls just want to see a confident guy. For the most part it doesn't matter what you're into (as long as it's not some freaky shit). If you're confident in what you're saying, and you seem cool and collected, the ladies will respect that. There's something to be said for being a little shameless when it comes to women. Put yourself out there and do your thing. Worst case scenario you get shut down, at which point you then proceed to hit on her slightly less attractive friend.