Did Bill Clinton Break Up Richard Nixon’s Grandson’s Marriage?

Short answer: Probably not.

Long answer: This massively speculative blog post you are about to read if your eyes travel to the next paragraph. Don’t do it!.

Ahh shit, you did it. Oh well. Here we go.

So, the woman above with Bill Clinton is Andrea Catsimatidis. Her father is John Catsimatidis, the billionaire CEO of Gristedes. That’s a grocery store. According to estimates, his personal wealth is $3.1 billion. What’s that have to do with anything? Nothing, unless you think that money might be a useful thing to give to Super PACs during presidential elections.

His daughter there, for three years, was married to the grandson of Richard Nixon, America’s shiesty president. (At least, for now. The book is still being written on the Obama administration.)

Here are Andrea and Christopher Nixon Cox, in happier and more boob-filled times.

Facebook via Daily Mail

GOD. Look at that goober. BOTH buttons buttoned on a sports coat?? No wonder she left him. From the Daily Mail.

Andrea Catsimatidis filed for divorce on Wednesday from Christopher Nixon Cox in Manhattan family court.

It’s unknown what caused the break up, which began with a lavish 2011 ceremony at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in Manhattan. Some of New York’s biggest political names – including Hillary Clinton and Henry Kissinger – were in attendance.

BUT?

She caused a stir this week when she posed in a very low-cut dress with former President Bill Clinton.

Coincidence? We here at BroBible don’t believe in tit-filled, billion-dollar, high-powered coincidences. My working theory after being handed this story from my editor 25 minutes ago?

The following is only a theory: Nixon Cox was planning on donating heavily to Republican Super PACs using Catsimatidis’ wealth. The Dems got wind of this plan and sent Slick Will and his ten-pound cock to set Andrea straight.

Bill don’t fail.

Ready For Hillary is about to get a seriously influx of supermarket scratch.