Zero fucks given and no shame whatsoever for 20 year-old Elissa Alvarez. Not only were she and her boyfriend, 39 year-old Jose Caballero, having sex on a public beach, but there were apparently families around. As in, little kids were playing in the sand as Elissa got railed out 5 feet away. Never too early to give the “birds & the bees” talk, is it?
“The witness said the couple eventually went from inappropriate touching to all-out sexual intercourse, which lasted about 25 minutes…
Ms Hall told investigators she was upset by the X-rated display because her 4-year-old daughter was next to her and saw everything.
The lovebirds’ amorous antics were even captured on a cell phone camera by a bystander, which was later obtained by MyFox Tampa Bay…
In all, Bradenton police have received seven complaints about the oversexed couple.”
Only seven? Come on guys, if that’s all you pulled then you weren’t being loud enough.
It’s okay though, since after taking a quick break they went on to round 2, because if you don’t hit at least 15 complaints for fucking in public then you’re doing something wrong.
“Those present on Cortez Beach Sunday reported that after bringing their pubic lovemaking session to a conclusion, the couple took a dip in the ocean and then returned to the beach for a catnap, which lasted for hours.
When Alvarez and Caballero woke up, they allegedly picked up where they left off, prompting one furious parent to confront the two.”
That is the clearest definition of “cockblock” if I’ve ever seen one. If you don’t like people having sex near you then why don’t you just move? It’s not like they’re stalking you around the beach and setting up sex camp wherever you sit. A little common courtesy in the future, people, that’s all I’m asking.
Oh, and for those of you who are just DYING to see the video footage, here you go.
I want more like this!
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