In widely counterintuitive news, it appears the longer your erect penis is, the more likely it is your wife will cheat on you.
HUH? You would think a good dickin’ is what would keep the missus happy. But apparently not, at least according to a study by PLOSONE (whatever the fuck that is (a science journal, I assume)).
Domestic violence, denial of a preferred sex positions, longer erect penis, younger age and increased sexual satisfaction were the main predictors of women’s involvement in extra-marital partnerships.
Let’s break those down one by one, leaving penis size aside for a moment.
Domestic violence: If you hit your wife, she might be more inclined to leave you. Makes sense.
Denial of a preferred sex positions: If she wants it doggy, you best be giving it to her doggy.
Younger age: Yea, everybody wants to fuck hot, underage tail. I can get behind that.
Increased sexual satisfaction: Duh. If you can get it better elsewhere, go get it.
But longer penis size? My guess is guys with big dicks don’t work nearly as hard. Ha. Hard.
[Phallus via Shutterstock]