Life
by David Covucci on April 28, 2014

phallic-shit

In widely counterintuitive news, it appears the longer your erect penis is, the more likely it is your wife will cheat on you.

HUH? You would think a good dickin’ is what would keep the missus happy. But apparently not, at least according to a study by PLOSONE (whatever the fuck that is (a science journal, I assume)).

Domestic violence, denial of a preferred sex positions, longer erect penis, younger age and increased sexual satisfaction were the main predictors of women’s involvement in extra-marital partnerships.

Let’s break those down one by one, leaving penis size aside for a moment.

Domestic violence: If you hit your wife, she might be more inclined to leave you. Makes sense.

Denial of a preferred sex positions: If she wants it doggy, you best be giving it to her doggy.

Younger age: Yea, everybody wants to fuck hot, underage tail. I can get behind that.

Increased sexual satisfaction: Duh. If you can get it better elsewhere, go get it.

But longer penis size? My guess is guys with big dicks don’t work nearly as hard. Ha. Hard.

[Phallus via Shutterstock]

 

David Covucci

About David Covucci...

David Covucci is writerer-bloggerer for BroBible dot com. He loves Twitter and whiskey. He can be reached at david.covucci@brobible.com.