If You Have A Beard, You Probably Hate Women

Are you growing out that beard to cover your face or cover up the fact you’re a massive asshole?

A new study suggests that men aren’t sexist because they grow beards, but grow beards because they are sexist: “Facial hair may appeal to hostile sexist males because it maximizes facial masculinity and augments perceived dominance.”

Or maybe, mayybbeeee…we just don’t feel like shaving? Huh? Huh? Nah, too easy.

An Australian study surveyed “500 men aged between 18 and 72 from India and the US,” and “studied men with nine facial hairstyles varying in length – from light stubble to a heavy beard.” The subjects first identified their amount of facial hair, and then answered a variety of questions about gender roles.

In the study, men with beards were more likely to express a hostile sexism, which for the study meant openly negative beliefs about women. “Benevolent sexism,” a wee bit of an oxymoron, meant dudes who had positive, but still damaging generalizations about women.

Another part of the research said that men with facial hair are more likely to cheat, steal, or get into fights.

Maybe bearded men are always so angry and hostile because people are constantly conducting studies on them and treating them like lab animals. Why don’t you ask the clean-shaven guys some questions? A good first question is “why can’t you grow facial hair, you fucking pussy.”

[via Some eCards]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.