Barack Obama’s Cousin Is Suing Her Employer, Claiming People Deliberately Farted On Her Desk For Two Years

Barack Obama’s British cousin is suing her employer. President Obama’s cousin, Marie Auma, claims to have endured several years of noxious harassment (and because this is her British cousin that’s pronounced ‘hair-ass-mint’). The harassment she alleges has taken the form of her colleagues coming by and deliberately farting on her desk, non-stop, for two who years (that’s 730 days of farting for those of you keeping track at home). And I have to wonder if there has ever in the history of the ‘Thanks, Obama!’ meme been a more appropriate usage of that meme than the scenario at hand?

President Obama’s 57-year-old British cousin who works for Scotland Yard has filed a lawsuit seeking damages of $610,400 (£400,000), alleging that her co-workers have ripped ass at her desk in order to humiliate her and make her life a living hell. Now as I repeatedly peel off my dankest of egg farts every time I walk past my co-worker’s desks I can see there being some serious validity to her lawsuit.

Marie Auma’s barrister (that’s British for ‘lawyer’) claims that this is an example of ’21st Century Bullying’, which is kind of hilarious when you take into consideration how butthurt our society is over bullying these days.

The DailyMail reports:

A cousin of Barack Obama is suing Scotland Yard for £400,000 after claiming colleagues would deliberately pass wind at her desk to make her life a misery.
Marie Auma says police officers and Met staff conspired to bully her, including two who would regularly break wind near her while working at Southwark Police Station.
The 57-year-old, who was at Mr Obama’s inauguration in 2009, claims she was ‘belittled and humiliated’ in the campaign of alleged harassment.

Few of the individual incidents which occurred between 2007 and 2009 could be said to be harassment, but together they formed a ‘culture’ of bullying against her, she said.
She told the court Miss Auma had been refused leave to visit Kenya in 2007, following the deaths of two of her brothers in an accident.
When she complained about the refusal, she was branded a trouble-maker in the force’s ‘rumour mill’, said the barrister.
She said there was a ‘pack mentality’ and that the rumours led directly to an officer and another civilian employee deliberately breaking wind at her desk.

It’s actually a bit more involved than just her colleagues farting at her desk every time they walked by, some of her accusations allege that she was pushed to a stress point that ultimately ended with her having to seek medical attention, and it all stemmed from her not being allowed to attend the funeral of TWO brothers who had died. But really it was all the farting that got to her.

Honestly though, can you imagine anything more torturous than your co-workers farting at your desk every single day for two years?!?! This article claims that the average British citizen works 48 hours a week, let’s multiply that by 50 (take 2 weeks out for vacation), and then let’s assume that she was getting hit with one fart per hour. That’s 2,400 farts at her desk PER YEAR, coming to a total of 4,800 co-worker farts that she was forced to inhale while working for Scotland Yard. That’s too many farts for any one woman to swallow, and I for one hope that she wins her lawsuit.

For more on this lawsuit you can follow that link above to the Daily Mail!