This story has the feel of skit straight out of a Portlandia episode.
Peter Walters penned a passionate letter to the City of Pendleton, pleading with them to ban the smell of farts in public. If that sounds moronic, it’s no stupider than the actual ordinance passed last week, banning a different and less offensive (to some) smell in public. Government officials turned smoking weed in public to a possible $500 fine.
The City of Pendleton, Oregon changed their nuisance ordinance, the same one that deals with loud music or barking dogs, to include the smell of marijuana.
The ordinance now says that if you allow the smell of pot to spread from your property to another property, you can be fined up to $500.
The city council heard one person who said the smell from a medical marijuana grower next door was stinking up his home, his car and even his clothes.
Walters read about the ordinance and wrote this letter to the people getting paid to worry about such stupid issues.
It was with great relief Thursday when I read in the East Oregonian that Pendleton’s city council took the time to pass an amendment to the city’s nuisance ordinance banning marijuana odor. Clearly, there has been no issue of greater importance facing the city. Now that this important work has been completed I hope that the council will move on to restricting the other offensive smell that plagues our community: farts.
While farting may be legal in Oregon, many (including myself) are offended by the flatulent stench. Too often, homeowners and businesses fail to contain farts to their property, forcing the rest of us to put up with the smell. Some habitual farters argue that they need to fart for medical reasons but that doesn’t mean my kids should have to smell their farts. The city council should stop looking the other way and pretending not to notice.
I’m not even going to talk about intensity of farts. After all, as Pendleton police Chief Stuart Roberts put it: “It’s a very subjective standard in terms of whether people are offended by [smells] or not.”
This issue greatly affects me as I have a roommate whose recreational farting has been negatively affecting my quality of life for several months now. He claims that he is taking steps to mitigate the odor after I contacted the authorities. But unless our elected officials add farts to Pendleton’s nuisance code, it’s as if he who smelt it, dealt it. I call on our city council to set aside all other work and address this problem.
If Walters gets his way, both weed and beef toots could send a person broke in the city of Pendleton. A jar of farts and you’re in jail for life.