There are many nicknames for the town of Aspen, Colorado, population 7,000: Ute City. Fat City. A place where the beer flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano. It can be a reckless place of winter sports, rich cougars, and high altitude bad decision-making. Saying you’re “hitting the slopes” in Aspen isn’t *just* a reference to skiing one of the four beautiful mountains, but also abusing one’s nasal cavity.
Case in point: Back in October, a man was arrested while doing lines of cocaine on a public park bench. When asked if he was doing coke by officers, he told them brazenly, “Of course I have cocaine up my nose. It’s Aspen!”
A similar tale made its way into the Aspen Times police blotter yesterday. Majed Alhamad, of Los Angeles, was visiting the affluent resort town when he decided he wanted to go “EXTREME.”
Aspen Extreme, you say?
The 60-year-old driver for High Mountain Taxi told police that Alhamad — whose booking sheet lists him as a student in Los Angeles — offered him cocaine “a number of times” on the ride early Friday morning to the St. Regis, but the driver refused, the affidavit states.
“(The driver) stated this angered Alhamad,” according to the affidavit written by an Aspen police officer. “(The driver) said that Alhamad used vulgar language and derogatory racial terms … and ‘f—ing American’ while in the vehicle.”
The taxi driver also said Alhamad “exposed his genitals to him” and “opened the small baggie of cocaine and spilled it on him,” the affidavit states.
Majed Alhamad, 23, later admitted he was intoxicated and told Aspen police officers “he wanted to go ‘extreme’ while in Aspen,” according to an affidavit filed in District Court on Friday.
The 60-year-old driver for High Mountain Taxi told police that Alhamad — whose booking sheet lists him as a student in Los Angeles — offered him cocaine “a number of times” on the ride early Friday morning to the St. Regis, but the driver refused, the affidavit states.
“(The driver) stated this angered Alhamad,” according to the affidavit written by an Aspen police officer. “(The driver) said that Alhamad used vulgar language and derogatory racial terms … and ‘f—ing American’ while in the vehicle.”
The taxi driver also said Alhamad “exposed his genitals to him” and “opened the small baggie of cocaine and spilled it on him,” the affidavit states.
Could this story get better than a dude spilling his coke on a cab driver and whipping his dick out? Of course! Wait till you hear the story about how he obtained his cocaine:
Alhamad admitted to buying the cocaine for $100 from someone on the street he didn’t know, the affidavit states.
“Alhamad stated he knew it was not real cocaine and stated it was baby powder,” according to the affidavit. “I asked Alhamad how he knew it was not cocaine and he said it smelled like baby powder and he had done cocaine in the past.”
An officer tested the cocaine baggie and received a “presumptive positive” on it for cocaine, according to the affidavit.
Alhamad admitted to using derogatory words toward the driver but said he didn’t spill the white powder on him, according to the affidavit. The officer wrote that Alhamad smelled of alcohol.
“Alhamad said he wanted to go ‘extreme’ while in Aspen but will have to pay for this incident,” the affidavit states.
Alhamad was charged with felony possession of cocaine and harassment.
I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but the entire ski world is chuckling at Alhamad’s use of “EXTREME” to describe his reason for his cocaine cab meltdown. The early ’90s B-movie Aspen Extreme is the so-called “Top Gun” of skiing. It’s about two Bros from Detroit who head to Aspen for the winter to ski in bright fluorescent onesies, party their face off, and bang MILFs, it has cult status in ski bum circles.
It’s so bad that it’s entertaining. Just like this dude’s decision-making skills.