In the era of social media, guys and girls are equally dependent at seeking approval and validation of what they’re doing, whether it’s casually drinking a beer by the pool or shopping for a new shirt at the mall. It’s all the same.
These days, a second opinion is valued as much as one’s instincts.
If you think that’s an exaggeration, then why does Instagram exist? Facebook? Twitter?
Yes, people love to share about themselves and broadcast to as many people as they can about all the “cool” things they are up to, but in reality they only want people to be noticed and to be accepted – the relieving secondhand confirmation that you exist in this world, rather than just knowing it.
The problem with this trend is that it has completely lowered our ability to determine when a situation needs a second opinion or when you can handle things on your own, without someone else having to “like” what you’re doing or saying.
The best example of this I’ve ever come across was on Facebook a few months ago when a chick I knew posted about how she broke up with her boyfriend, telling him off in public and calling him out for all the crazy shit he did while they were together. The genders easily could be reversed in this situation, bros, just saying.
It received a dozen or so likes before the girl couldn’t resist posting an update on the very same post about how he called her a million times and kept hounding her with texts.
Immediately, three things went through my mind:
A. Why the fuck should anyone care about this? It’s clearly not anyone else’s issue other than the two people involved in the relationship.
B. How did the guy stay in a relationship with such a crazy, conceited bitch? (Answer: Sex, more than likely.)
C. Where are we at in society that this is the norm?
Side note: I had a fourth thought come to mind and it was, man, I really need to delete my Facebook.
If you need a website or an app on your phone to confirm your choices in life, then you mine as well tear out your intestines right now because you have no guts.
With that said, searching for a second opinion when weighing sometimes tough, life-changing decision is not only justifiable, it’s crucial to finding the perfect resolution. Individuals have been confiding in their allies since the dawn of time and I don’t see why that should stop now, it’s just the way that we’re going about it that needs to change.
Here’s a list of what types of situations qualify for a second opinion:
One night stand or continue it?
One could say this is the ultimate bro dilemma: should I try to keep fucking the girl I just slept with or should I just play the field? Sometimes you can do both, but in most situations you have to make a choice and having a sounding board for your thoughts, a.k.a. your friends, really helps simplify the Catch-22. Honestly, I always seek a second opinion in this department because sometimes your bros can see something in a chick that you can’t when you have your sex blinders on. Your buds are a valuable resource, trust me.
To stay or leave my job?
This one’s a biggie that may even require your parent’s tutelage, but you don’t want to go them and tell them you’re considering quitting your job. That’s a big no-no; the kiss of death. Again, it’s great to get a second opinion from your fellow bros, because more than likely one of them will have been in this predicament before and will have some experienced knowledge to pass along to you. What’s best about getting someone’s viewpoint is that they won’t be as emotional as you are. They don’t feel the same torment you do at work and therefore can reach a much more balanced conclusion.
Big purchase: Car, TV or pet?
Anything that doesn’t fit into the aforementioned categories you can decide on your own and, hell, you can decide to purchase any of the three on your own if you feel inclined. After all, it’s your money; someone else’s opinion on how to spend it should be moot. However, a bro can get into a few dilemmas when making big purchases. More often than not it comes down to whether or not they have enough funds to take on this additional burden. Weighing out the pros and cons of a big purchase with a second party, as well as the financial implications, could go a long way in the end. If you make the decision alone, you could be looking a long line of debt.
Side note: when deciding on expenditures, chose someone who is financially savvy to help you, not your stoner buddy who unloads cash like he’s an ATM machine.
Drinking games: What’s the rule?
I saw a Tweet over the weekend where a guy was asking for an opinion on the rules of Civil War. One, why Tweet that you’re playing a drinking game, that’s just plain stupid. Two, look it up on your phone, dumbass. Three, aren’t you playing a game with several other people? Can’t you just determine the verdict on your own with a good old fashion American debate?
It’s totally acceptable to phone or text a buddy about rules of a drinking game, I do it all the time and I’m sure bros across America do it too. However, seeking a second opinion from somehow you don’t even know shows that you’re not even looking for a ruling on the game, rather you’re just desperate for attention.
Should I date her?
A bro can go through all the replays of past dates and hookups in his mind, but when push comes to shove those sex blinders are going to overrule any sound logical decision. Therefore, another voice is required to make the right choice to avoid entering in a relationship with the wrong woman. (See: the anecdote above.) It’s not soft or cowardly to throw all the puzzle pieces on the table and let someone else try to make sense of them. Although the answer to this question should ultimately fall on the individual, the second opinion never hurts here. While a buddy could help you avoid a mistake, he (or she) could guide you in the right direction on a road toward harmony and satisfaction.
Honorable Mention: Anytime a doctor tells you that you have a disease.