Here we are, the final week of our Ask a Bro column honoring the fact that 22 Jump Street, starring Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill is hitting theaters on June 13th. After this, we are back to business as usual, so remember to submit your Ask a Bro questions here
Q: Hypothetically speaking, how long should it take you to have sex once you get to college?
A. Haven’t had sex since you been at college yet, huh, fella?
In this “hypothetical” scenario it sounds like you’re finishing up your freshman year. A full year is a long stint without getting in the hole, but despite what people might say or think, it still takes some effort to get laid in college. For girls it’ll take as long as they want it to, but for guys it varies. Could take one day or one year for it to happen. Hell, it could never happen. I had a friend, decent looking guy, who was in my fraternity who had sex with one girl in college. ONE GIRL. And this was during a time before the free Internet porn craze really hit its stride. So imagine that nightmare.
I pooled the dudes in our office, a total of 15 people, and after throwing out the extreme numbers in both directions, the average time people waited was three weeks. Some people jumped into the grind within days while others waited weeks , months and as much as a year.
Personally, it took me a few days after moving into the dorms my freshman year and it was the weirdest sexual experience of my life. I met the girl, while I was dead sober, in a dorm bathroom after we both just did vile things to the toilet. It took NOTHING to get her to sleep with me. I think I was actually the one who needed to be convinced, because my idea of foreplay is not taking a dump together. Anyway, I’ve told that story at length before, but yeah, she was a classy bird who’s name I didn’t find out until the moment she exited my room to crawl back into whatever hole she came out of.
So HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I guess three weeks is the average time it takes for guys to get laid in college.
CLICK TO READ the rest of this week’s Ask a Bro brought to you by 22 Jump Street and don’t forget to submit your questions here.
Follow J. Camm on Twitter —> Follow @JCamm_