Bros, in honor of 22 Jump Street hitting the silver screens on June 13th, we decided to do a few college-specific Ask a Bro columns over the next few weeks. So come one, come all… and be creative. Remember no one cares about your long distance girlfriend from high school less than me. Submit your Ask a Bro questions below…
Q: I’m 23 years old, 1st generation military (US Army, Combat Engineer) and I am getting ready to get out of the service… and go to college. Whew.
Now that I have college paid for, any tips or tricks for surviving the first year? Anything I should be aware of? Academics shouldn’t be a problem, I joined the army to pay for college, not because I couldn’t get into a college. Part of me is worried it will be like Billy Madison for me, the other part is worried that I will get treated differently by teachers and/or the other students around me. I don’t want to be “that guy.” I just want to go to school, get good grades, and do all the crazy shit I saw on my Facebook wall here at home while I was in Afghanistan.
A: First off: thanks for your service. And thanks for writing in. Hopefully this answer won’t fail you.
One of my best friends and fraternity brothers in college was in your exact shoes. He served in the military prior to college and was a freshman at 24-years-old. He never let being 5+ years older than other freshmen hamper his good time. Unlike the rest of us, he actually came to college with decent knowledge of his alcohol limits and with droves of sexual conquests from his time overseas. I’ll never forget his story about the time he went to a Japanese whorehouse and fucked a prosty on an inflatable pool raft in a bathtub because she was on the rag. I mean, HOW COULD I FORGET THAT? It was so very gross and, yet, so very worldly.
Pledging was also a breeze for him. It was weird, none of the brothers really had the itch to fuck with a 6′ 5″ jacked dude who could probably snatch a human life from existence in less time than it takes to blow a fart.
I can go on and on about this but what I’m saying is: maybe you can’t see the obvious advantages, but they’re there. From pledging, to drinking, to sex, to paying attention in class, to even knowing which major to pick, because at 23 you probably know more about what you want to do with the rest of your life than when you’re 18…you’re more in the driver’s seat than those younger than you. Shit, at 18, most guys are only four or five years removed from having a legitimate expectation to become a professional athlete “when they grow up.”
Yeah…you’ll be just fine.