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Here are your Morning Headlines:
- Showbiz: Ashton Kutcher to replace Charlie Sheen on "Two and a Half Men." He just can't stop stealing shit from middle-aged men, can he? [ABC News]
- Shocking: Minnesota, not New York, was voted as the state with the most hipsters. Who tallied these votes? Florida? [Minn Post]
- Bin Laden: Reports are now saying that Osama wanted to kill President Obama. Gee, ya think? [NY Post]
- Stupid: Judge gives criminal a 30-year sentence, criminal says "make it 33, I've got big hard-on for Larry Bird." [Boston.com]
- Golf: With round 2 underway, the leader board at The Players Championship is cluttered with talent. [PGA]
- Art: Man recreates the NYC skyline using nothing but staples. Looks as unimpressive as you might suspect. [Gothamist]
- Video: Evan Longoria snags a fly ball, headed for a reporter's face, with his bare hands...Or does he? Video below.
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