One of the main plotlines in the new season of Arrested Development is George Michael's invention of the "Anti-Facebook," an online device that would keep you away from friends you'd rather not see online. Life interlude: There now exists the "Anti-Foursquare," an app called "Hell is Other People," which tracks your "friends" (emphasis on the quotes), and tells you the optimally distanced locations to avoid them. Want to make it home without running into that guy you hate from work? Boom. You know he's at Wal-Mart, so you choose Target instead. This mentality is why human beings can no longer communicate with each other, and I couldn't love it more.
The app is being billed as an "experiment in social media," but, c'mon: A real-world Marauder's Map would have come in so fucking handy during certain bagel-line interactions in college. Tell me you wouldn't have dropped some coin on this. You can't.