Amazon Is Bigger Than Walmart Because Of Dildos

My headline is a little misleading and I apologize. Amazon is bigger than Walmart because of not just because of dildos, but because of butt plugs, Sybian machines, fuck swings, nipple clamps, anal beads, cock rings, penis sleeves and fuck dolls or any other sex toy for that matter. Well that is the reasoning that this news anchor gives for Amazon’s explosion of growth.

During the Northern Nevada’s KTVN Channel 2 News broadcast, this perverted anchor gives a titillating report of Amazon’s throbbing sales. The anchor has an unorthodox reason for Amazon’s success.

“You know why? Because they sell sex toys, and Walmart can’t or won’t sell sex toys. Amazon does. A friend of mine works in one of the warehouses, and he says they sell a ton of them.”

It’s always a “friend” that has this uncomfortable carnal knowledge isn’t it? It’s not the 14 pocket pussies in your nightstand or the 32 phallic-looking Amazon boxes piling up at his doorstep addressed to his wife’s name that provides you with this intimate economic insight is it? Another case of when keeping it real goes wrong.

His co-anchor doesn’t seem so aroused by his economic theory and says, “They’re trying to eat breakfast!”

Thank you local news, your bloopers are the only thing keeping people watching your newscasts.