No idea how this one slipped through the cracks, but here's a real "what the f*ck is humanity coming to" type story. The "Air Sex World Championships" don't only exist, they're apparently highly popular--and have been for a few years.
The Huffington Post decided to check out a competition held in NYC last night, and here's what they found:
Picture your drunk buddy taking the stage to rock out on her cringe-worthy air guitar rendition of "Welcome To The Jungle" -- except instead of jamming on invisible strings, she shows the world what reverse cowgirl, an imaginary partner and Guns N' Roses truly have in common.
That's the gist of the sport, which is so naughty it was featured on America's Got Talent in June, and even sex-crazed Howard Stern couldn't handle its raw power.
There are only two rules on stage at the Air Sex World Championships: all climaxes must be simulated, and there must always be another (imaginary) person on stage during your routine. Aside from that, all contestents need is a moniker and a song. Three judges critique the show based on foreplay, intercourse and sexual energy.
Thursday night's show featuring air sex legends with stage names like "Jam Out With Your Clam Out," "Magic Michelle" and "Tootenanny" promised plenty of titillation.
"Air sex will be an Olympic sport one day," the show's founder and MC, Chris Trew, told The Huffington Post. "We're giving these people a platform to [expletive] to glory. They're getting a stab at stardom."
It certainly seemed that way. A packed bar cheered on the solo love makers as they motorboated, thrust and smacked their way to the top. Tootenanny, sporting a tank top and tighty-greenies, was a clear favorite with the audience. He simulated drinking a six pack, having an argument with his significant other and awkwardly tensing up his body in true redneck fashion.
There you have it folks. Most, uhh, stimulating.
[H/T: Huffington Post]