We all watch porn. That’s just a fact of life, like the sun’s going to rise and you’re going to tell some wild untruths when you file your taxes. What isn’t a fact, however, is that all of us make it to the end of whatever porn clip is tickling our fancy on any given day. We’re jerking in a race against time, we have no seconds to waste on unnecessary scene build up or endings. We’re here for the highlights; the stuff that gets the job done. Some brave Redditor, however, made it to the end of a masterpiece entitled, Slut teen gets knocked up by accidental creampie and what was waiting for him was both dark and hilarious.
Before the ending — so you can fully understand the clip without watching it — the scenes went like this.
– Random guy in car rolls up to young girl holding notebook on side of road offering her a ride. The notebook tells us this girl is probably not a hooker, but definitely a slut. Wait. That’s probably not what that notebook symbolizes…
– After accepting his ride, because OBVIOUSLY, the pair make small talk in the car and the man confirms the girl he just scooped is a teenager. SMASH CUT.
– The pair sit on a random couch. Where? I don’t know. The man’s first words are, “you were saying something about sex-ed?” We must have missed a huge chunk of great conversation on that car ride. We’re all worse off for not having that experience.
– For no more than 9-seconds, he begs her to teach him about sex-ed. His pleas resulted in a SMASH CUT to the reason why we watch this stuff.
– Blow job city.
– Sex. In a bunch of positions.
– Finally, we see the man’s vinegar strokes as he cums inside the young lass.
– Screen goes black.
– Girl’s face reappears, she looks uneasy about what just transpired. As if letting a random dude, who drives a shitty car and has man bangs, cum inside her was a questionable decision.
– Screen goes black again.
– This message appears…
According to Kernal Mag this might be why the scene took a turn for the morbid:
The question remains, however: why would a porn director opt to tack on such a morbid, unnecessarily elaborate non-sequitur ending to the scene? A commenter on Porn.com, where the scene was also uploaded, has a theory: apparently Schoolgirl Internal’s schtick is to end films with the girl getting pregnant and sticking the father with child support, so killing off the mother was intended as a twist on the trope.
Welp, I’m satisfied with that possible explanation. Girl’s dead. Nothing we can do about it. Time to get on with our lives.
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