All right gentleman, it’s that time of year: V-Day. Not V for vag*na (although play your cards right and you’ll be seeing some) or V for virgins (unless you’re in high school), but Valentine’s Day. According to History.com (obvs legit), Valentine’s Day doesn’t have a confirmed origin. It may be named for Valentinus, who was martyred after performing illegal marriage ceremonies for young lovers; it may have come from a garden-variety spring fertility ritual; or perhaps it spawned from an ancient Roman festival in which a goat and a dog were sacrificed and young boys ran around town slapping girls with pieces of goat hide dipped in blood (I promise I did not make that last one up). Either way, Valentine’s Day these days is basically an opportunity for you to show that particular smokin’-hot babe — whether she’s yours already or you want her to be — that you think she’s pretty great… so you can get laid (think of it as goat hide slapping, but updated). But your plans don't need to be overly complicated or convoluted. Keep it simple.
So without further talk of slapping and goats, here are my tips for the big day:
First, you can’t go wrong with flowers. No matter how old or new the relationship is, they never disappoint. They’ll spruce up her dorm room, apartment, or office and she’ll think they’re beautiful. Bonus, all her friends will see them and be jealous that they don’t have any. Seriously, sometimes we think like this. Orchids or roses are lovely but if you know she has a particular favorite kind of flower, go for those.
Been hooking up with a girl for the past two weeks or so? Well, first, you should’ve taken note of the calendar and waited until after Valentine’s Day to start that shit up — clearly she’s been trying to make sure she doesn’t spend the 14th alone with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and a Kate Hudson rom-com. But you went and did it anyway, so the best thing to do, if you want to keep sticking it to her, is something spontaneous or funny and certainly not elaborate. Offer to hang out and bring her some candy or grab a box of the conversation hearts with inappropriate sayings. She'll just be pleased you made any acknowledgment of the day at all. But note, if you don't want to keep hooking up with her don't do anything. Avoid her the entire day and pretend you don't know anything about hearts or candy or nekked babies with bows and arrows. She won't like if it you make a nice gesture on Valentine’s Day and then vanish.
For you guys that have been hooking up on the regular for a little bit but aren’t anything official just yet, keep it simple (since it’s been mostly about the sex thus far). Pick a sexy drinks spot. A trendy dinner spot works as well — just be sure you pick somewhere chic but lively — nothing too romantic. Tell her the address, the time to meet you, and to wear something fantastic. Get there early, grab a good table, and when she shows up, tell her she looks fantastic. Order up a couple rounds of drinks, to be followed by... hot sex, of course.
Been dating for a while and want to go a more romantic route? Invite her over and cook her dinner. We know most of you guys don’t really like to cook all that much, especially if it involves anything other than tailgate grilling or heating up leftover pizza. So, we feel extra special when you make that effort just for us. Grab a bottle (or two) of red wine, something chocolate for dessert, and you’ll pretty much nail it.
Is your lady friend overstressed and overworked? Treat her to some pampering with a spa gift certificate. Bliss Spas are in most major cities, and offer a variety of fantastic treatments and products. If you think she might be expecting something of the expensive and shiny variety, but you aren’t ready for a rock just yet, an especially indulgent spa day will certainly keep her distracted. Appreciation guaranteed when she returns home relaxed and refreshed.
If nothing else, treat her to some quality face time. Whether it’s chocolates and a movie on the couch, or ice skating and hot chocolate, sledding, a hike to a favorite spot, take some time out from your schedule to devote to just her. The point it mostly to show her that she matters to you, and that you think she’s special. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive, or glittery to do that.