Time to gather the best of the best from the last week and count down to one victorious bastard, who will be crowned our Bro of the Week and receive a 6-foot mirror, trimmed in luscious mahogany, so he can spend hours of his spare time masturbating to the greatness that is him. Actually, I think our runner-up probably has such a mirror that already serves such a purpose, but lets dive the f*ck in anyway, shall we?
5. Phil Davison
Passion could be used as a valid excuse for a lot of life's littles mishaps. From storming the field as a fan mid-game to slaughtering your wife and her Latin lover when you come home early from work, passion can sometimes commandeer all control of your mind and body. In Phil Davison's case, he is the most recent politician (of sorts) to let his undying passion take the wheel during a speech. The amazing video of his speech is below. I should note that in the video Davison claims to have a masters degree in communication, although, it would appear that he is either having some serious pitch problems or he suffers from voice immodulation disorder.
4. Charley Hoffman
He looks like a stooge half the time, and the announcers last week couldn't mention it enough how everyone thinks he is dumb because of his hair and appearance. But even while looking like Jeff Daniels in "Dumb and Dumber," Hoffman put on an absolute clinic firing a final-round 62 to win the Deutsche Bank Championship in Boston for his second career PGA tour victory.
3. Tom Brady
Personally I am not a Pats fan, nor do I root for Tom Brady, but you have to admire the way this cat handles himself. He went from 6th-round nobody — who should have been out of the league in two years — to the owner of three Super Bowl rings. Yesterday, Brady was rewarded when Bobby Kraft Macaroni and Cheese gave him a record contract extension — just hours after his star quarterback got in a major car accident (he was uninjured, his Audi not so much). The outspoken buffoons of the NFL should take note as this is how quickly contracts get done when you don't flap your gums or make it a "look-at-me" media circus. With all that said, go Bengals.
2. Donald Trump
Tomorrow is the 9th anniversary of the September 11th tragedy and leave it to Donny f*ckin' Trump to come to the rescue to try to keep a mosque from being built near Ground Zero. Although his almost laughable bid on the property makes me suspicious if his actions were sincere or not, I will choose to believe the former and classify his bid as a patriotic, yet incredibly shrewd, effort to keep this from happening.
1. Mark Herzlich
The 2008 ACC Defensive Player of the Year is back on the field after spending the entire 2009 season battling a rare form of bone cancer. As he endured the rigors of chemotherapy, Herzlich continued to lift weights and study game film knowing that he would overcome the disease in time for 2010's kickoff. "I really want to come back next year and pick up where I left off," he said. I mean, what else is there to say?