Life
by J. Camm on August 25, 2010

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My Dearest Waffles,
 
I come to you again knowing any advice you choose to bestow upon me will undoubtedly provide me with only the best tools out there to ensure your fellow man's utmost happiness and satisfaction. That being said, this past weekend my closest girls and I set out for a weekend away from our hometown to get drunk, dance, and, of course, see what a new place had to offer in terms of young men. Amid our pre-drink, we starting chatting about sex and some of the experiences we've had. I was thrown for a loop when my best friend, for her sake let's call her Brocahontas, decided to drop a bomb about a past guy in her life. In their short time together, she went on about the great sex they had but how he hated when she touched his balls.

Immediately, I called shenanigans but was enlightened by the rest of our group that a lot of the guys they'd been with did not enjoy it either and so they just stopped paying any attention to down there. As I began to recall previous hook ups I couldn't offer a definitive argument, as there have been times in which both positive and negative feedback has been received. So I began to wonder, is this a desired act for guys? Do they enjoy when girls massage, feel, lick, suck them or should we just focus our attention elsewhere? Any thoughts and advice you or the Brommunity may have to offer are appreciated and will surely go to use… When we fall in love and get married of course…
 
Chay and Get Laid,
Flow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Yo Babe,

This is where men and women differ. We don't sit around talking about shit like this, and as you already know, you can tug guys dicks all day, but I can't say, “Yes, every guy loves/hates having his balls jostled.” I really think men are mixed on this topic, so the Bros will have to chime in down below. What I can tell you, however, is why we might not love it and what you should be cognizant of prior to romancing our boys.

I cannot even begin to tell you how truly delicate a ball-sac and the contents therein really are. The smallest graze or playful jab will bring even the biggest badass to his knees. No man — who still owns the original set God gave him — has balls of steel and none of us want to be on the receiving end of testicular trauma or discomfort. That, I can assure you. Now, I obviously don't know how your friends were operating around the nuts of other men, but most men are not going to pretend everything is going great if a chick is sucking our dick as she squeezes our ball-sac like she's trying to get the last drop out of a f*cking Capri Sun.

You have to remember that most of us have grown up in a generation of literal ball busters. Knocking another dude in the nards when I was a kid was not uncommon; on the field of play it was used to gain a competitive advantage, and socially it was fair game if you wanted to get a laugh at your buddy's painful expense. Of course, we eventually grew out of these things (or most of us do) because we realize how f*cked up it is, but I think that inherent fear or lack of desire to feel that distinct discomfort ever again is why men are often not excited when a broad lunges for his balls — or ball, in some unfortunate instances.

Now I am not trying to discourage you from trying to please a man's balls, I simply want you, and all women, to understand why some men are reluctant to trust foreign hands; our jewels are the one vulnerable spot on our entire body. While some may be indifferent or down right terrified, there are, however, men that love the touch of a woman's mitts and mouth down there. The approach on the broad's part needs to be tactful and delicate. If we wanted our balls to be freshly squeezed we'd buy a f*cking juicer.

If you are really unsure and you don't want to turn a guy off with your affinity for sucking his balls, it never hurts to ask him if he enjoys it. The last thing he is going to do is get up and walk away mid-bl*wjob. He will most likely give you the green light or let you know he doesn't like how it feels.

Be Gentle,
Waffles