Is there something wrong with being trashed before noon? If so, I’ve been doing my tailgates and sporting events wrong for the last 4 years. Where I come from, if you haven’t at least killed a Four Loko and drank half a bag of wine by 9:30 then you might as well go home and wait for the day to be over.
Check it out below (skip to the 1:10 mark if you don’t want to watch all of the intro).