Life
by Brian Killen on August 2, 2013

A girl’s cock blocking friend is not as easy to deal with as it is writing about it. And with that being said, while taking a man’s drunk hormones into perspective, keep these two things in mind:

1. Never lose your cool, mentally. As easy as it is for her friend to mess up your game, ending your chances of getting some ass for the night, remember; it’s just as easy to find another girl who does not have a friend that is going to block your cock.

2.  Never lose your cool, physically. As much as you want to punch that girl in the face for not letting you take her hot friend home from the bar, remember; don’t do it! You will probably go to jail.

The Goal: Since cock blockers feel guarded due to jealously or some other reasons that guys will never understand, the goal is to come off as a ‘nice guy’ but not be a pussy. Know what you want (her hot friend) and be a little patient because you will have to include both girls before showing that you only want to get with one of them. Go about it in a way in which the third-wheeling-potential-cock-blocking friend will be forced to like you, and not get in the way of you and her hot friend.

The Situation: You see a hot girl with her friend at a bar and your wingman is nowhere to be found. You are going to approach them.  No shit, girls like a guy with confidence but they also love a guy who is ballsy. And these days approaching two girls at once shows that you have some cojones so here’s what to do:

1. Introduce yourself and be nice, but not too nice.

Don’t be a pussy and don’t be a badass, you want to be somewhere in the middle. Let’s not forget that the potential cock blocker is still a girl and how you introduce yourself to the both her and her friend that you are trying to swag, use some charm and paint a picture in their heads that you are a nice guy who likes to have fun and get a little crazy but with good intentions. Shake their hands, listen to what they both have to say and when you’re talking to the girl you ultimately want to get down with always include the potential cock blocker in the conversation and keep eye contact with both of them . The potential cock blocker will notice this and definitely appreciate it.

2. Buy both of them drinks.

Chilled house tequila or Rumplemintz are highly recommended due to the price to mind-altering ratio. This is not church; this is a bar so anything such as cheap and high alcohol liquor that comes easy to order is something that should always be taken advantage of. Why not? Your goal is to get with the hot friend and buying both of the girl’s drinks (both the girl you are pursuing and her cock blocking friend) shows that you’re not desperately trying to make a move and even better you will continue to come off as a “nice guy.”

3. Make them laugh.

Making a girl laugh brings out your confidence. I’m no dating expert or even a mathematician, but apparently girls love that little thing called confidence. And a major factor in picking up girl’s is making sure that you show them a good sense of humor.

Tell a joke, act a little goofy and the Ass Gods will certainly shine a light on you. This is where you can let the cock blocking friend know that you are interested in her friend without blatantly showing it. Using her name in a joke, leaning in her direction and rubbing up against her are all good examples of what you can do. It will work in your advantage and the friend will start to understand that while still feeling included in the conversation.

4. Get some one on one time with the cock blocker.

It’s not the kind of one on one time that involves a handy j in the corner of the bar when her friend is in the bathroom although that would be pretty epic. When the opportunity arises (and it will arise) talk to the cock blocking friend and say something like, “What’s up with your friend?” or if you’re like me and want to take a more comical approach say something like, “I think I’ve got the hots for your friend…” this way you are still putting it out there and at least she will pretend to laugh.

5, Come across as a family man.

Now that the friend just labeled herself as the official third wheel of the group, it’s time to change the subject. After she responds to the question you just asked about her hot friend, whatever the response is, don’t try and make a move on the hot friend just yet. Once again this is where your confidence will shine, letting you also show that you are not a player but in fact a good guy. When you change the subject after you let your liking to her friend be known; bring up a family member. Yes, bring up a family member whether you love them or hate them, like Mr. Nike once said, “Just Do It.” Talk about a good movie you saw with your mom or mention the time you went fishing with your dad or even that time you surprised your little brother by taking him to a baseball game. Whatever story you decide to come up with will work like a charm. The cock blocking friend just went from being slightly bitchy (because you told her you’re interested in her friend) to slightly happy that you’re not a total dick and in fact a nice guy. Thanks fam!

6. Bring one of your friend’s into the picture.

This can either go one of three ways:

Since she went from slightly bitchy to slightly happy in a matter of minutes, she might suggest that you and her hot friend get together some time or exchange numbers or any thumbs up sign for you and the hot friend to see each other again, which is a good thing.
The friend will get out of your way and say she’s tired or that she wants to meet up with another girlfriend at another bar or something stupid along those lines and she will ask you to make sure that her hot friend gets home safely, which is a great thing.

The true cock blocker spirit will come out in her and try to ruin everything you’ve been working for.

So if #3 happens you will then have to bring up a friend that you suggest she gets to know. Say something like, “I have the perfect friend for you” or “You would really love my friend.” Before I continue you should know to never mention your friend’s name. Since you’ve come across as an no less than awesome kind of guy the cock blocking friend will be more than open to meet one of your friends that she hopes to be just like you.

7. Introduce her to that friend

Start looking for your original wingman. If you’ve been looking for him in the bar for more than five minutes and you can’t find him; he has either gotten kicked out or already closed the deal with a girl who didn’t have a cock blocking friend. Hopefully you find him and if not grab a decent looking acquaintance from your school or town, tell him the situation (that you need a wingman) and offer to buy him a couple shots if he agrees to help you get with this girl by hanging out with (distracting) her friend. It’s a good idea not mention that the friend he is going to be talking to is in fact a “cock block.”

8. Get some one on one time with your girl.

Given the situation and if everything successfully pans out the way that I’m describing it, it’s not be rude to now take your girl away from the little double date you just created. You can do this by asking her to dance or you can take the easier route and ask her to take some more shots. Both are perfect excuses for that one on one alone time you’ve been chasing after. You have now overcome her cock blocking friend. If anyone has succeed the most out of this whole thing, it has to be her considering that she was a total bitch for getting in the way of your game and at the end of it all she got some D from one of your friend’s, or a random guy you called your friend.


Writer’s Note – There are guys, mostly “friend zone” douchebag guys, that will attempt to cock block you while you’re hitting on their only friend who just so happens to be a girl. This article is not geared towards cock blocking guys, but if you do find yourself in a similar situation, simply bring that guy over to the side and tell him what’s up or use little to no effort in finding him anything with big boobs or a fat ass.

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