[inline:adriana]While flipping through an old issue of GQ recently, I came across a feature on Adriana Lima posing more or less nekked on a beach and also tackling the age-old dilemma, "So, You Wanna Date a Supermodel?" Adriana made some really great insights that my girlfriends and I have been saying for years -- we just don't pose nekked behind a not-so-giant palm tree leaf while doing so. Since Adriana's explanations were pretty short, I thought I'd dive in a little deeper and bring things down to non-goddess level for all you Bros with lofty, but not Everest-high aspirations. Consider this, "So, You Wanna Date a Girl Who Looks Great in Victoria's Secret but Doesn't Necessarily Star in Their Fashion Shows" (incidentally, this year's airs tomorrow night at 10 p.m. on CBS). Adriana: Don't let me scare you. "Don't try to be what you're not. If you're nervous, be nervous. If you're shy, be shy. It's cute." Kate: Absolutely! Being nervous or shy is not bad at all, it's flattering. It's way worse to be phony, or lame, or showy. Girls work a lot off of instincts -- If we feel you're full of shit, you're covering up something, and even if that something is nerves, we won't be able to shake the falsity. Adriana: Put the Treo down and pay attention to me. "It's not attractive. It's a girlie thing." Kate: Thank you! Bros, I know you've heard it's impolite and that you should pay attention to your date. But more than that, staying glued to your BBM or Facebook iPhone app is really a chick thing to do. No girl wants to date a guy who is constantly up to date with all the gossip on where to go that night, or with what really went down the night before. We get that from our girlfriends. Don't take the reason for brunch away from us. Be the GUY.
[inline:3a] Adriana: Get jealous... but not violent. "Once in a while you have to stand up and say I love this person... but you have to control yourself." Kate: O.K., interesting topic: jealousy. This is hard, because no girl wants an overly aggressive guy. But, if you're not aggressive enough, it makes her think, "Well, does this guy even like me?" And that's when you get the crazy girl who starts making things up in order to test you. My best advice is to be honest, but restrained -- all a girl needs is to see it in your eyes; fists are way overboard. And if you're drunk, walk away. Adriana: Don't hit on my girlfriends! "It has happened before, and it never works." Kate: Said perfectly. Adriana: A beautiful girl is a beautiful girl, not an accessory. "Don't change your personality when you get around people at a party, or don't think you're the hottest person because you have the hottest girl." Kate: There's nothing worse than a guy thinking he's all that because of whom he walked in with. Honestly, it's probably more like "Damn, he got her?" You probably got her for a reason -- showcase that! Besides, girls go for humor, intelligence, and personality way over looks. Adriana: Just remember you're really dating the waiter. "Treat people with respect." Kate: As a waitress still, I definitely look for this. We don't care if you're handing over a black card, don't act like you're above others -- it's a really bad habit that only develops into something worse. My mom always said the best definition for rich was "warm and strong." [inline:6]Adriana: Your first move should be no move at all. "When I'm ready, I'll make the move." Kate: I'm all for this, but since I'm representing all types of women, I'm going to have to change this slightly. Wait until you know we want to make the first move. I only say this because I know too many girls who could-a would-a should-a'd with a great guy, but refused to break her first move rule. Look for: the lean-in, a swivel of our hips into yours, a touch of our collar-bone, the comb through. Wait until we smile! Women are way more into communicating physically than verbally, because it's way more sexy that way. You will know when we want to make the first move, plus, making us sweat a little only makes us more intrigued. Adriana: Make friends with you inner viscount. "Show me you can take care of me." Kate: I love old-fashioned manners as well. Open doors, pull out chairs, walk in between us, and the street-traffic, let us order first and for ourselves -- I can't tell you how many guys get this wrong. Do not order for us. I don't know who or when this ill-rumor began, but it's really wrong. Don't try to impress us, just treat us well and we'll be impressed. If it's too much to walk on the street side, then don't do it. Be as much of a gentleman as you can be; we do appreciate the small things. Adriana: Take me away (but not too far.) Kate: Adriana goes off on Paris getaways. I'm going to say: not applicable. Sadly. Adriana: A gift is only as good as the time, energy, and effort you put into it. "The simple thing is always the best." Kate: Write a letter. A hand-written letter and a single rose -- there's nothing sweeter. Getting a huge bouquet of flowers and then having to hold them all night is, frankly, annoying. The gifts I still hold to heart are the small and simple, cards or self-made necklaces, records, books, and paintings. Adriana: But that doesn't mean you shouldn't aim high. "You know how you can have a star named after a person, as a gift?" Kate: O.K., stars are a little excessive -- especially in New York City when you can't see any. But how about a drive to upstate right before sunset (it's not Paris, but still...)? Just be genuine. If you genuinely want to buy us diamonds, by all means bring on the bling! Just stay within your means, and try hard to get us something we like. (Hint: We give off hints. Try listening.) Adriana: There is no such thing as casual dating. "I'm always serious." Kate: Girls are different on this, but I, personally, side with Adriana. I want a guy who gives 100%. I'm not into expiration dating, or those who are on vacation or getting over a break-up. Maybe it only lasts a week or two, but at least you can part with out any regrets. Adriana: Call your mom. For real. "It's important that a man has a good relationship with his family." Kate: There is nothing better than hearing the guy you want to say "I love you" say "I love you" to his mom. It's not lame, it's respectable and right. [inline:10] Adriana: Go home. Now. "You have to have limits -- limits on everything: on drinking, on going out, on jealousy." Kate: Perfectly said. Too much or not enough are usually the reasons people end things. Adriana: Rethink those nurse fantasies. "When I'm sick, I want a lot of caresses." Kate: Adriana also comments that if you don't know what to do, ask. "Just say, What do you need? I will tell you. Whatever I tell you, do. That's it." This is important. Sometimes we don't say exactly what's on our minds. And, yes, sometimes we instead say the opposite. But we don't always play games. And when we're sick, we're not playing games. If we want a small chicken soup to dip with a bagel and cream cheese, we don't want a large soup and we don't want flavored cheese. You don't always have to go over the top. Postscript: GQ should be the other bible for every bro. Creative Director Jim Moore just launched "GQ Rules," which is a daily video that shows a money-saving style secret in under 60 seconds. Check it out here.