Summertime and the girls are easy. Ok, well maybe not all the girls but statistics show that your chances of getting laid are much higher under the hot summer sun than in the winter. Considering that the majority of us walk around half naked from the beginning of June to the end of August, the odds are ever in your favor.
Another beautiful thing about summer is the vacation mentality. Remember on your last spring break when you saw the quiet girl from your freshmen philosophy class topless? That’s vacation mentality. It’s intensified when we're in another location and have the protection of not knowing everyone at the bar as we do something stupid. Vacation mentality also settles in during the summer when the weather is perfect and we’re totally relaxed.
If you have an adventurous personality and have been aching to hook-up outside of the bedroom – now is the time to get your girl to do it. On a hot, balmy night when she’s conveniently wearing a mini skirt, ask for an outdoor quickie. You may be pleasantly surprised to find that she’s down for the challenge. Girls don’t always need, or even like, the candlelight, soft music and 500-count Egyptian cotton sheets. Some good sex in the great outdoors might be on her summer bucket list too. If you get the green light, jump in the car and head towards one of these locations:
On a Lifeguard Chair
Everyone thinks that having sex on the beach is a great idea until they try it. Unfortunately, sand plus sex equals an uncomfortable disaster. Have you ever gone for a run on the beach? It’s exhausting. Sex in the sand is just as tiring with the added feel of sand paper rubbing against your butt. Putting a blanket down only restricts movement and who wants to deal with that during sex? Instead, grab your blanket and climb up a lifeguard stand at night. It’s easier and a hell of a lot hotter. Plus, you can see if anyone is coming.
In a Canoe or on a Raft
Row out to the middle of no-where and let the motion of the ocean set your pace. The rocking of the boat feels awesome and if you can get the right groove going, the movement of the water against the boat can make you go deeper. But don’t make any sudden movements unless you both want to end up in the water. Buzz kill.
On a Rooftop
If you live in a city and have access to a rooftop you should be doing more up there than enjoying a few beers with your bros. Bring up your girl, some beers, a bottle of wine and a few pillows and you’re golden. Sex under the stars with the faint sound of traffic, car horns, and drunk revelers below as your only soundtrack will prove to be awesome. Just be sure to triple check that there are no security cameras up there.
In a Tree House
My friend told me she did this and I thought it sounded cool. There’s not really much to say about it except do it for the story! If you don’t have a tree house in your backyard, I’m sure the 12-year-old next door won’t mind if you borrow his.
In a Car
Before you start complaining about my unoriginality, allow me to blow your mind. Convertible. Boom. Go for a drive and find a semi-secluded area. Pull over first, obvs, and enjoy the thrill of potentially getting caught by a truck driver. The shoulder lane of a single lane highway is the perfect location.
On a Golf Course
Love golf? Love sex? Why not combine the two? When I was younger, I used to sneak onto the golf course near my house with friends to go sleigh riding in the winter. If a bunch of adolescent little girls were able to do it without getting caught, so are you. Sure, you could get in trouble for sneaking onto the course but you can also get in trouble for having sex publicly.
Under a Waterfall
This location needs to be broken down into three tiers. For the ballers, buy yourself two tickets to Hawaii or some other tropical destination and have sex under every natural and/or man-made waterfall you see. For the middle class guy, make friends with the kid who has an ingrown pool and hot tub that creates a waterfall into the pool. Convince him to have a party and make sure you and your girl are the last ones up. For the dirt-broke bro, buy a blow-up pool and hold a hose above your head or just move “sex under a waterfall” to next summer’s bucket list.
Have some other awesome suggestions or an outdoor sex story? Tell me in the comment section!
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hot beach couple pic via shutterstock