Life
by BroBible Staff on April 4, 2013

Twitter “Favoriting”

This is arguably the most passive-aggressive version of social validation ever created. What you said was cool, but not cool enough for me to actually associate myself with that statement. The virtual equivalent of a smirk. A sympathetic pity-chuckle. 

Email Intricacies

Are you supposed to add a friendly quip to indicate that you also have a personality? Do you include a disingenuous exclamation point? Is 30-45 seconds of your time really so valuable that I have no choice but to thank you for it?

I also highly doubt you are as impressive as that shit under your signature makes you seem.

Celebrity Social Media Presence Abuse

A great thing about the internet is that if you’re good enough at it, you will be recognized for your value added. A bad thing about the internet is that being good at real life doesn’t always mean you’re good at the internet.

A lot of celebrities on social media (particularly twitter) are beyond intolerable. Problem is, there’s no reason for them to stop being shitty–given the nature of the medium they’ll continue gaining followers no matter what they say, and they’ll get retweeted because they just ate a bagel. Nothing is telling them to stop. In fact, the signs indicate the contrary.

“Throwback Thursday”

No one cares.

…And Nostalgia Overload in General

The primary culprit here is websites like this one. But websites can be a lot like humans, in the sense that a lot of them sorta hate themselves. Also, the first step is admitting that you have a problem. Though that’s as far as we’ll likely go, cause stuff I learned from watching The Wire.

Over-Hashtagging

We need to put this in #perspective here. Hashtags were invented to crowdsource conversations, so that people could chime in on a similar topic. Then it became a diction modifier, then it devolved into all different forms of slang. Meaning, it’s overused. Much like IT’D BE ANNOYING AS SHIT IF WE ABUSED THE EMPHASIS ON CAPITAL LETTERS. AND IT WOULD ALSO MITIGATE THEIR EFFECT. AND IN TURN, THEIR PURPOSE.

Misplaced Sense of Content Ownership

If you claim that someone or some website “steals” your news stories or previously posted videos, you (a. should probably go outside, take a long walk, and think about what exactly happened that led you to this point in your life, and/or (b. are beyond an incompetent blowhard. The entire point of the internet is for multiple people and websites to post the same exact thing. That is what we call virality. That’s how stories and/or noteworthy shit gains traction, magnitude, and cultural resonance. It’s like finding a food truck giving out free hot dogs, and then getting pissed off when someone else finds that same food truck an hour later. And half the time, the only reason why they know where the food truck is in the first place is because you made sure everyone in the world knew about it by posting it on Facebook. 

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