7-11 Offering ‘Date Night’ Packs For All Those Romeos Looking To Get Slurpee’d Tonight

As part of its new delivery service, 7-11 is offering a date night pack and a hangover pack to people who’re honestly pretty pathetic.

Forget dinner and a movie — 7-Eleven is setting you up for your next date with ice cream and condoms.

The global convenience store chain promises to get everyone in the mood on Saturday nights with its Date Night Pack — a tub of Ben & Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, a Hershey’s chocolate bar, a can of Red Bull, an 18-piece pack of Trident gum and a three-pack of Trojan Ultra Thin condoms.

I’m not sure a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and a chocolate bar will make anyone DTF and what’s the Red Bull for? Down it and go for a run after she turns down sex with a guy who gets a 7-11 date pack delivered?

If spending the night alone and drunk is more your style, Sev is always offering the hangover pack. “The $15 bundle includes extra-strength acetaminophen, a 25-ounce fruit punch Gatorade, a large pepperoni pizza and a smoked turkey and pepper jack sandwich.”

The acetaminophen is for your headache, the Gatorade is for the shakes and pizza and sandwich are to help throw up all the booze and feel better.

Fuckin’ ‘Merica.

[via Slider News]

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.