Life
by Rebecca Martinson on June 10, 2014

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Christ, and I thought MY vagina was a confusing subject. According to this survey done by Promescent (makers of the first premature ejaculation treatment for all you shotguns out there) no one has any friggin’ clue about how dicks work either. I miss the old days when everyone agreed that all you needed to know was where not to stick it if you didn’t want kids, but clearly there’s more important information out there that everyone’s missing out on.

1.Regularly viewing pornography can effect both your erections and amount of time to ejaculation/orgasm – TRUE

45 percent of men answered this question incorrectly, particularly in the 30-44 year old range – or did they? Various studies on the connection between porn, arousal, dopamine levels, erections and lasting longer are inconclusive and the jury is still out. Science can’t say for sure, but it appears more and more likely that too much porn use can impact some people’s arousal and sexual functioning. So find a happy medium with your porn viewing patterns, says Dr. Hernando Chaves, Promescent Ambassador. Not sure if you’re affected by too much porn? Take a break from porn and see how your sexual functioning responds.

Because jerking off to the DD-boobied porn star and then having to look at your saggy wife’s tits is a bit of a letdown.

2. The squeeze method is the only way to combat premature ejaculation – FALSE

The squeeze technique involves stopping intercourse and squeezing the shaft of the penis between the thumb and forefinger to reduce blood flow to the penis, causing a significant reduction in erection that prevents ejaculation. Few clinical studies have been performed using this technique with some uncontrolled studies having reported success with this method, says Dr. Chaves. Like the self-explanatory “stop-start method,” however, it causes an interruption to sex and may prevent a female partner from reaching orgasm. 11 percent of men, almost exclusively in the 30 to 44 range, believe this is the only way to stop PE.

 Personal experience tells me no one gives a shit about my orgasms, so squeeze away boyzz.

3. What is the name of the brain chemical that spikes when you become sexually aroused? – Dopamine

More than 80 percent of men got this question wrong. During the arousal stage, the neurotransmitter dopamine is activated in anticipation of the pleasure that we experience during orgasm. Instead, men believed that testosterone, endorphins or serotonin were stimulated during arousal. The most popular answer was “testosterone,” but T levels are associated with sex drive and erectile health, not the neurological response to sexual pleasure. Endorphins and serotonin are released during orgasm, not during arousal. Once again, 30 to 44 year olds disproportionately answered wrong.

 The main thing I’ve learned from these facts so far is that most 30-44 year olds are either virgins or sexually stupid.

4. Men who wear briefs have fewer sperm – FALSE

Gentlemen, you can wear briefs, tighty whities and all forms of nut huggers without fear of strangling your swimmers. About 46 percent of men got this one wrong. Men 45 to 60 were most likely to fall for this old tale. Hormonal imbalances, environmental pollutants, poor nutrition, smoking and alcohol can all affect sperm levels, but wear any underwear you’d like.

It’s about time the banana hammock came back in style.

5. The bigger a man’s shoe the bigger his penis is. – False

About 10 percent of men fell for this old myth – particularly 18 to 29 year olds. There is no correlation between foot size and penis length or girth. Just trying to find this correlation is actually a huge challenge, as temperature, touch, activity and stretch can all affect penis length. Researchers can’t even agree on how much one should stretch the penis before measuring it. So, don’t judge a man by his shoes.

Cue little people everywhere screaming “I told you so!”

Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual health issue amongst men – TRUE

58 percent of men answered false, and it’s no surprise given all the advertising money spent on erectile dysfunction medications. However, researchers have found that up to one in three men suffers from PE, according to the Mayo Clinic. While erectile dysfunction tends to develop in men 40 to 70 year old and become more prevalent with age, PE is evenly distributed across all age ranges and affects more men. 30 to 44 year olds are the most misinformed about this issue.

But does that actually make it any less embarrassing when it happens?

Just because the last sex-ed class you slept through was in high school doesn’t mean you’re an expert on this stuff. Read up, bitches.

Image via ShutterStock

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Rebecca Martinson

About Rebecca Martinson...

Rebecca Martinson is a recent graduate from the University of Maryland who is notoriously known throughout the Internet for being really, really adequate at writing emails. She joined BroBible right after graduating in the Spring of 2014 and doesn't hate it...yet.