Every group of friends at some point has the same epiphany: “Let's own a bar!” If you haven't considered the reasons before, we have to question your manhood. In honor of TBS's new original comedy Sullivan & Son about a family-owned Irish pub in Pittsburgh, here are six reasons why it's a good idea.
1. Free booze.
OK: It's not really free since you own it, but it seems free when you’re pouring yourself a beer and chatting up your friends. Consider it a business expense.
2. Getting to be a boss.
Ordering a girl a drink and then telling her you own the place is pretty cool. Regardless of age, girls will talk to you about owning the place. Besides that you can do whatever you want, if you’re the drunkest person yelling at everyone, you can because who’s to stop you, you own it. Until you're kicked out by the bouncer that you employ for your own good.
3. Controlling the music.
One thing that everyone hates about bars is when the music sucks, but not in your own bar. You can play all your favorite music and no one can do a damn thing about it. If that means you want to listen to the “Very Best of Daryl Hall & John Oates” from beginning to end, so be it.
4. Essentially getting paid to drink.
Think about your occupation for a second: Running a business, sure. But also getting money for hanging out and wasting time at a bar. It's pretty much hitting the jackpot of careers. There are only a few jobs that allow you to get bombed while working, and this one doesn’t involve stripping.
5. Kicking people out.
Choosing who’s in and who’s out if you only want girls, you can very well have a bar filled with them. You can cut people off, tell shut up, and throw them out. This power could have its perks when it comes to dates.
6. Naming it and putting cool stuff in it.
By far one of the best parts: Picking a name and rocking it out with all sorts of swag to make people feel more at home. Besides, it's not like your live-in girlfriend is really going to tolerate your collection of Jean Claude Van Damme 80s action movie posters, as kick-ass as it may be.
I want more like this!
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