Life
by Aristotle Georgeson on July 19, 2013

Mr. Bucket

This is a direct quote from the commercial, ‘The first person to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins!’ The premise of this game sounds like an orgy/race and the fact that the song mentions spitting out balls really bothers me. Plus it always pissed me off that the girl who won in the commercial picked up the bucket like a spoiled little brat. Put that shit down, we know you won you don’t have to rub it in everyone’s face.

 

Hungry Hungry Hippos

I actually enjoyed this game before I saw the commercial and once I saw the commercial, I hated it. Go ahead; steal the beat from a Conga line, real original Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Also, in real life hippos don’t chill with monkeys in case you were wondering.

 

Mouse Trap

The song is so catchy I almost can’t hate on it, but out of principal I must. A fun thing to do with this commercial is to listen to the jingle and then replace the words ‘Mouse Trap’ with vagina and watch how it still makes complete sense.

Skip It

What bothers me about this ad is that I had a ‘Skip It’ and the shit broke within 3 hours of owning it. Nowhere in the commercial does it mention that the thing is an absolute piece of garbage. Plus, the dude singing the song sounds constipated and desperate.

Socker Boppers


Okay first off, why are there only light haired white people in this commercial? If I recall correctly, EVEYRONE LOVED SOCKER BOPPERS! Second off, the phrase ‘sock all day and bop all night’ sounds like a day in the life of a porn star, not a child’s play thing.

Gator Golf

There are plenty of things that are greater than golf with a gator, like Netflix and sex and alcohol just to name a few. This song still haunts my nightmares because its rhyme scheme is PERFECT and I still know all the words.

Aristotle is a Los Angeles based comedian whose confidence comes from the fact that he knows all the words to the Mouse Trap commercial. You can follow him on Twitter and Vine @STOTLE.