The 90’s were ripe with the finest of television entertainment for our generation. Nickelodeon almost made parents obsolete with shows like ‘Hey Arnold!’ ‘The Rugrats’, ‘Doug’, ‘Ren & Stimpy’, ‘Angry Beavers’, ‘Catdog’ and way too many more to even list. But what the 90’s had in amazing television programming for kids, it lacked in amazing television advertising for kids. Unless of course creating the worst commercial to make you remember a product can be considered ‘good advertising’ (which is an actual advertising tactic that works but is BEYOND annoying). I can’t even stress how annoying this is because here I am at age 24 and I still know all the words to commercials like ‘Gator Golf’ and ‘Mouse Trap.‘ I am disturbed by this fact and that is why I am composing this list of the most annoying commercials from your childhood.
This is a direct quote from the commercial, ‘The first person to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins!’ The premise of this game sounds like an orgy/race and the fact that the song mentions spitting out balls really bothers me. Plus it always pissed me off that the girl who won in the commercial picked up the bucket like a spoiled little brat. Put that shit down, we know you won you don’t have to rub it in everyone’s face.
Hungry Hungry Hippos
I actually enjoyed this game before I saw the commercial and once I saw the commercial, I hated it. Go ahead; steal the beat from a Conga line, real original Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Also, in real life hippos don’t chill with monkeys in case you were wondering.
The song is so catchy I almost can’t hate on it, but out of principal I must. A fun thing to do with this commercial is to listen to the jingle and then replace the words ‘Mouse Trap’ with vagina and watch how it still makes complete sense.
What bothers me about this ad is that I had a ‘Skip It’ and the shit broke within 3 hours of owning it. Nowhere in the commercial does it mention that the thing is an absolute piece of garbage. Plus, the dude singing the song sounds constipated and desperate.
Okay first off, why are there only light haired white people in this commercial? If I recall correctly, EVEYRONE LOVED SOCKER BOPPERS! Second off, the phrase ‘sock all day and bop all night’ sounds like a day in the life of a porn star, not a child’s play thing.
There are plenty of things that are greater than golf with a gator, like Netflix and sex and alcohol just to name a few. This song still haunts my nightmares because its rhyme scheme is PERFECT and I still know all the words.
Aristotle is a Los Angeles based comedian whose confidence comes from the fact that he knows all the words to the Mouse Trap commercial. You can follow him on Twitter and Vine @STOTLE.